on the flip side. . .

this picture of Anderson just makes me laugh.

taken right after he bit me while nursing,

he got a flick and a stern no that simply broke his heart.

Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine

This picture was taken nearly five years ago.

It's one of my favorites from Carter's babyhood.

I can't believe this baby of mine will be five in a few short months!

With this ring, I thee wed

Marc has had two wedding rings. The first one lasted four years. When I was eight months pregnant with Anderson we went to the beach one day and it got lost in the sand. He'd tell you that it slipped through my fingers as I was handing it to him when we were packing up to leave so it was my fault. I'm telling you that as a person who grew up around the beach, he knew better than to even wear it out on to the sand so it was his fault. Needless to say, having the emotions of an 8 month pregnant lady, it was not a good day. The second ring lasted two years. Anderson got a hold of this one, and it's somewhere in our house. Marc would tell you it's my fault because I saw him with it and I should have taken it away. I'm telling you that since just days previous he'd told me I needed to be more careful with my ring, I thought when I saw Anderson with his that he should follow his own advice and then forgot all about it until we couldn't find it a few days later. I was peeved, but not nearly as upset as the first time.

I'm not the gal who feels insecure because her man doesn't have a ring. Marc takes it off at work so often anyway, that really, it doesn't matter. But, this morning, when I saw that Marc had been browsing Overstock to find a ring, I remembered, Marc has nice hands. And his left one looks even nicer with a ring on the third finger.

ring #1

ring #2

The Last Lecture: A Book Review

Valentines Day 2009: (Sorry babe, this will be slightly incriminating.) I operated under my friend Robin's Theory this year for Valentine's and I told Marc exactly what I wanted: to go to a movie in the theater. That's it. As he thought things through, he thought that might be hard to pull off this last weekend but promised me he would acknowledge the holiday. On Valentine's Eve, I told him that if we weren't going to a movie, I'd really like a second pair of mary jane sweater slippers, or a cute pair of pj pants, something small. On Saturday, after he'd worked a while at a hockey tournament, after we'd taken the kids to see Madagascar 2, and after I'd gotten impatient that Marc had jumped on the computer the second we walked in the door, he pulled out my Valentine's surprise: a very fun card and a package of Spring Oreos. Thoughtful yes, but if you read Robin's post about her Valentine's Theory, you will forgive me for being a bit disappointed. I had been VERY CLEAR about what I wanted and none of my ideas were honored. While my husband is "practically perfect" , it's possible he's a little slow to pick up on completely obvious hints. So he went to Target and picked up a pair of slippers, some pj pants, a book (The Last Lecture, which is where we're going with this) AND a gallon of milk because we were low and Oreos without milk is unthinkable. When I asked him about the number of purchases he made, he told me I should know by now that when he screws up, he usually goes overboard. On Monday I read The Last Lecture in it's entirety, and I didn't start until 1:45 pm.

The Last Lecture (by Randy Pausch, the 47 year old husband, father and computer scientist who died after a 2 year battle with pancreatic cancer) is a must read. It is fun and humorous yet incredibly deep and inspirational. I had an overwhelming urge to sit and cry for an hour or so after finishing.

Here are some gems I thought might be important enough to write on post-its to place all over the house.

• When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you.

• There's really only one way to teach kids how to develop [self-esteem]: You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.

• Tenacity is a virtue, but it's not always crucial for everyone to observe how hard you work at something.

• Power is in humility.

• Be a better time manager: time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think.

• The only way any of us can improve is if we develop a real ability to asses ourselves. If we can't accurately do that how can we tell if we're getting better or worse.

• Luck is indeed where preparation meets opportunity.

• Earnestness is highly underestimated. It comes from the core, while [being] hip is trying to impress you with the surface.

• Complaining does not work as a strategy.

• When you're frustrated with people, when they've made you angry, it just may be because you haven't given them enough time.

• It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit. . .and keep moving forward.

• Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

These are words that might keep me moving forward when things don't seem to be going right. I suggest you pick up the book and see how it speaks to you.

A Belated Valentine's Treat

At the last minute, I decided to make this fondue recipe for Valentine's Day. It's divine. And somehow I don't feel guilty because we use fresh fruit for our dippers.

Chocolate Turtle Fondue

1 11-1/2-ounce package milk chocolate pieces
1/4 cup milk or cream
2 T. caramel ice cream topping
1 T. finely chopped pecans

Fondue dippers

In the top of a double boiler placed over gently simmering water, or in heavy small saucepan, combine the chocolate pieces and 1/4 cup milk. Heat, stirring constantly, over low heat until chocolate is melted and smooth. Stir in 2 tablespoons caramel ice cream topping. Cook and stir till heated through. Stir in additional milk, 1 tablespoon at a time, until desired consistency.
Pour mixture into a fondue pot; place over fondue burner set on low. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon finely chopped pecans over the top. Do not stir. With fondue forks or long skewers, dip your favorite fondue dippers. Will hold up to 1 hour on low. If mixture gets too thick, add milk 1 tablespoon at a time. Makes 5 (1/4-cup) servings.


**I do not have a double broiler so I put one of my glass bowls over a sauce pan to make my own with what I have. Just make sure the water doesn't touch the bottom of the bowl. Over heating the chocolate is the danger here. I also don't have a fondue pot, so I just use the same glass bowl I heat the chocolate in. Our favorite dippers include strawberries, banana pieces, fresh pineapple cubes, rice krispie and brownie bites, and marshmallows.

evidence

As evidence that Anderson really will eat anything, he just ate the stem of the strawberry that I had left on my plate. And on Thursday night, when Marc took the boys to Taco Bell, Anderson ate a bean and cheese burrito that Marc had spiked with fire sauce. That's right, fire sauce. Apparently, he didn't even flinch. (And before you think, wow, what was Marc thinking spiking Anderson's bean burrito, the burrito was supposed to be Marc's but Anderson wanted it.)

lead me out on the moonlit floor, lift your open hand, strike up the band and make the fireflies dance, silver moon's sparkling, so kiss me.

St. George 2008

Valentine's 1999: I was a freshman at BYU and supposed to have been dating a boy who seemed extremely into me-- until we were official, that is. Then he flaked, flaked and flaked some more. So two days before Valentine's Day my neighbor and I decided to take a break from Provo and go stay with some friends in Salt Lake. We were only "out of town" for two days and we got home on the afternoon of Valentines. When we got home, Marc was hanging out in our dorm commons area and we hung out all night. I woke up the next morning to e-Roses in my email box, from Marc. (Somehow my flaky-supposed-boyfriend didn't even send me a card.) Marc's been one of the only constants in my life ever since. Ten years ago, I could only have dreamt that we'd be married and moving through life's ups and downs together. Really and truly, it just goes to show that dreams do come true. Our story is living, breathing proof, at least for me. Happy 10th Valentine's Day, babe.

[My boys are] Never Too Little To Love

I bought this book as a valentine for my boys.

I love:

Carter's nose and it's sprinkle of freckles.

Anderson's BIG blue eyes and his long, thick eyelashes.

when they wrestle and Anderson takes down Carter and keeps him down without even trying.

Anderson's blond fuzz on his forehead, the back of his neck and his ear lobes. He's had it since birth and it hasn't completely gone away.

how Carter has been really snuggly lately.

when Anderson walks around with his blanket on his head, over his eyes, with his thumb in his mouth.

that Carter and Anderson have basically identical feet, that besides growing in length haven't changed since birth.

when I see glimpses of Carter actually caring about and for his little brother.

how Anderson's tummy bulges to an unthinkably round size after he eats and eats and eats--he'll eat anything, almost!

when Carter raises his eyebrows and his forehead wrinkles up exactly the way it did when he was a baby.

kissing Carter's forehead.

kissing the space between Anderson's nose and top lip.

snuggling my boys and reading to them in my bed.

the space between Anderson's two front teeth.

on the other hand, I really hate when Anderson screeches when he's unhappy with Carter which he just did so I better finish!

Homemade Tomato Soup & Homemade Focaccia: A Tasty Combination

I'm never going back to Panera Bread. The only reason I go is to get their baked potato soup in a sourdough bread bowl. The last 3 times I've been, they haven't been serving that soup and I get something else that is definitely sub par. On my last visit, I got their tomato soup. It was only okay.

Last month I made a recipe for homemade tomato soup that I found on my ward's recipe blog. It was so tasty--especially after it sat for three days in the refrigerator. Seriously. If you could even wait that long you should make a big batch and then let it refrigerate for 2 or 3 days. I made the soup again earlier this week and made a quick accompaniment for it last night: Jamie's Focaccia Bread. Wow, I just ate lunch at 10:00 am because I couldn't wait to eat the left overs. I seriously may never go back to Panera Bread. You shouldn't either. You should call me and come over for lunch. If you don't you should at least make this in your own kitchen for your own family.

Homemade Tomato Soup

Prep Time: 10 min
Cook time: 40 min

Ingredients:
1 14oz can chopped tomatoes
1/4-1/2 cup olive oil
Salt and pepper
1 stalk celery, diced
1 small carrot, diced
1 yellow onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup chicken broth
1 bay leaf
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil leaves (substitute Italian seasoning, or sage and thyme; they all work well).
1/2 cup heavy cream, optional (we have never used this)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Strain the chopped canned tomatoes, reserving the juices, and spread onto a baking sheet. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and drizzle with about 1/4 cup of the olive oil. Roast until caramelized, 10-15 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes or so. Meanwhile, in a saucepan, heat remaining olive oil over medium-low heat. Add the celery, carrot, onion and garlic. Cook until softened, about 10 minutes. Add the roasted chopped canned tomatoes, reserved tomato juices, chicken broth, bay leaf and butter. Simmer until vegetables are very tender, about 15-20 minutes. Add basil and cream (if using). Puree in a blender until smooth.

**the notes in parentheses are from the original recipe posted here. I'm not sure who actually posted it so I can't give credit to her. Here's how I tweak it though:

I would definitely triple the batch, you'll want it for lunch everyday. Quadruple it if you are serving to company so you'll hopefully have leftovers. When I multiply the recipe I still only use one onion because Marc's not a huge fan of onions but I multiply everything else. I used fresh basil the first time I made it and didn't really like it. If you want, use a dried herb, though I only used salt and pepper this last time I made it and it was great. Use fat free half and half instead of cream--you really should and you can do so guilt free because it's fat free!

Jamie's Focaccia Bread

1 C warm water
1/3 C olive oil
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
3 C flour
2 tsp yeast
1 1/2 tsp dried Italian seasoning

Topping:
1/4-1/3 C olive oil (you be the judge :)
1 ½ tsp dried oregano
1 Tbs garlic, minced
1/3 C grated Parmesan cheese
¼ tsp salt

Add ingredients to the bread maker in the order listed above (be sure to smooth out the flour so that it is easily distributed). Set the bread maker to the “dough” program. When the dough is finished, with oiled hands evenly press dough into a greased 9x13 pan. Use your fingertips to make indentations in the dough. Cover and let rise in a warm place for 30-60 min, or until double in size. While the dough is rising, heat olive oil in skillet, stir in oregano and garlic then immediately remove from the heat. Use fingers to press dimples into dough again. Spoon olive oil mixture evenly over dough and sprinkle with remaining ingredients. Bake at 400 for 20min, or until golden brown. Serve with marinara sauce for dipping.

**Jamie's recipe site is Dinner's Ready. Check it out. Again, just one side note:

I do not have a bread machine. I just threw all the ingredients in my Kitchen Aid, flour last, and mixed it with my dough hook until it was smooth and formed a ball. When the bread was done baking, I cut it into sticks with my pizza cutter. I did everything else the same and it turned out great. Thanks Jamie!

Quote of the Day

A few months back, when The Children's Place was having their $5 shirt sale, I stocked Carter up with his winter long sleeve tees. I picked them out, a blue one with grey stripes. A red one with blue sleeves. A brown waffle tee with orange stripes. He almost immediately decided he hated the brown one. On the other hand, it was my favorite of the three. The only way I could get him to wear it was if he saw (or was convinced because of an empty dresser drawer) that all of his other options were dirty. Even then, he'd be pretty upset about it. But when he ended up with the brown and orange shirt on I'd ALWAYS tell him how much I love that shirt and how handsome he looked. Yesterday, I asked him to get himself dressed while I got things ready for us to run errands. I walked in his room to get Anderson dressed and he had his jeans on and swung the brown and orange shirt around to show me that is what he picked (even though there were plenty of clean shirts in his drawer). I asked him why he picked that one. He said, "I like hearing you tell me that I'm wearing your favorite shirt." Then, on our first errand, when I asked him to stop running up and down the aisle of Walgreens and to stand by me, he immediately ran to me and hugged my leg. I really love my Carter.

mr. independent

According to a Super Nanny episode I watched about six months ago, kids should be doing certain things, including wiping their own bum, by the time they are three to four years old. I panicked, Carter was almost 4 1/2 and I was still doing that. But, Marc talked me off the ledge--if that's the worst we're doing as parents, (not letting him wipe his own bum, I mean) we're doing pretty darn good. (I'm sure that's not the worst we're doing but at some point you just have to believe in yourself or at least pretend to.)

Then all of a sudden, it happened. One day, out of the blue, he told me he'd wipe his own bum. I haven't wiped it since. Well, except for yesterday when he was truly a mess. Believe me. I found remnants on the shirt he wore yesterday when I was sorting laundry 30 minutes ago. Gross.

Carter has developed quite a bit of independence in the past few months. He buttons his own buttons. He changes his clothes. He'll even pick them out all by himself if I'm busy. When we were in Idaho for Christmas and Marc and I were gone to a wedding, he picked his pajamas out of the dirty clothes pile that he really shouldn't have worn since he'd peed in them the night before. He zips his own zippers. He opens his own car door. (which is marvelous since I'm practically the only one around here that doesn't have a van with automated doors!) He buckles his own seat belt. Undoubtedly, he's not a baby anymore. He hasn't been for quite a while, but he's also been a little slow to develop independence. It's a good thing he's been blossoming quite a bit lately because tomorrow I register him for kindergarten.

my current treat of choice

In December, it was Winter Oreos. Now it's either this:

or this:

Did you know a serving size is NINE with only 180 calories! Definitely gives me a chocolate fix.

Cupid's Calling

I've spent hours (literally!) this week crafting Carter's valentines for his class party on Friday. I'm not sure why I wasn't satisfied with digging out his leftovers from last year. (he only has 10 or so classmates right now--one box would last 2 or 3 years at that rate!) Perhaps it was because I saw these darling cards in Family Fun--I just had to make them! Mine turned out a little different and a lot more colorful. I hope his classmates like them.

Eleven years ago I had a mad crush on a stocky, brown haired, brown eyed football player named Nick. We were seniors in high school, a time where who you were made a difference in who you dated so I didn't stand a chance but I was lucky enough to have a twin who managed the football team so Nick and I were friends. I still remember his warm smile and his big hugs. Both were so comforting.

Two and a half years ago, Marc and I permanently resided in Northridge, California but came here to Colorado Springs for six weeks for a clinical. I was six months pregnant with Anderson--looking fairly round. Since I finished high school here, I was thinking I might run into someone from high school in those six weeks and it turns out, of all people, I ran into Nick on Saturday afternoon at the mall. We both did double takes, he was wearing glasses so I didn't immediately recognize him; I was six months pregnant so his double take was definitely understandable! We had a short visit and it seemed like things were good for him.

Tonight, I read that he died, at a hospital here in Colorado Spring, in December, from a very rare form of cancer in the spine and neck. I am shocked and deeply sad. I wish I would have known--I would have visited. I would have attended his funeral. I hate would have, should have, could haves. They make lots of things so much worse. It's definitely a time to "seek out a forgotten friend," as I said in my last post about death.

fyi

For those gals who frequent the Briargate YMCA: Andrea will kick your butt in any of her conditioning classes, guaranteed. It's not really my area of expertise, but after attending my share of conditioning classes, I have found that only she combines legs and arms so you really feel like you're getting a whole body work out. IMO, she puts everyone else to shame! Believe me, I'm pretty sore this morning after taking her trekking class, then her ultimate conditioning class.

**grab a flyer on your way out today and check out when she teaches, your body will and won't regret it at the same time!

Super Bowl Talk

We're in the thick of super hero mania over here. It's all about Batman, Spiderman and the Incredibles, but mostly about Spiderman and his foes. So tonight, while the big game was on, Carter asked us, "Which one is the good guys and which one is the bad guys." He didn't understand when Marc told him neither were good or bad (we're not big pro football people) so I stepped in: I told him you just choose your favorite color, red or yellow. Then he understood.