Boy Crazy

Quote of the Day (Animal Lover Version)

2012-02-07T14:11:00.000-08:00

Every February our ward (church congregation) heads up to the mountains for a little winter wonderland activity. There's an iced over pond for skating, broom hockey, and ice fishing. Given enough snow you can sled, go snow shoeing or just play! And some choose to stay in the lodge and play games and eat. Truth be told, I've never been. There's always been something going on that I have to stay behind but Marc has taken the boys the last few years and he along with some families even stay the night in the cabins up there. I hear it's so much fun!

Well, February is once again here and as we were discussing our family plan for February and reminding the boys of the fun they had on that outing last year, we tried jogging Anderson's memory by telling him of the ice fishing he did. He adamantly stated (and was nearly crying) that this year there would be no ice fishing for him--because he would be hurting an animal. I had visions of a newly proclaimed vegetarian in the household for a split second but thankfully, the conversation didn't lead in that direction. At least not yet!

He also stated on the way to church last Sunday as he watched an owner walk his dog out the car window that he would gladly get rid of Ella so he could get a dog. (So far babies have been our excuse for not getting a puppy...we'll see how long that lasts as the babies grow up!)

List

2012-02-06T13:02:00.000-08:00

Here's a list of chores Anderson did to earn back the Christmas gift he broke and lost the privilege of having for awhile. As part of the learning experience I wanted him to be able to look back and see how hard he worked to earn his gift back. And he never once complained because that was part of the deal, too!

Exploratory spelling is a new thing for me since Carter didn't really try it. It's an endearing process I don't want to forget! The list isn't inclusive since after the 2nd or 3rd week of the "earn back" period I started to forget to have him record his chores.

bathrooms
bathrooms papr (restock toilet paper)
wacyoom
rsiclen (recycling)
slvrwar
diprs
diprs
diprs
mop
diprs
diprs
slvrwar
slvrwar
grosres
grosres
mop
clen up the basmit
slvrwar
loury (laundry)
cuttig vevbdls (cutting vegetables)
rsiclny (recycling)
slvrwar

Highlights

2012-01-09T14:48:00.000-08:00

My Relief Society president asked me a few weeks ago if I was able to find joy in my life. Yes, of course I can. And it usually comes in one of four forms: Carter, Anderson, Christian or Ella. It's funny how our children can be the source of so much joy and on the other hand bring us some of our darkest moments, too. Don't you think? Here are some recent highlights:

Literally minutes ago, Carter stepped through the front door and announced he has a new kid in his class: Matthew from San Antonio. In his very next breath he said he had already asked the new kid if he had ever been to a Spurs game. Sometimes his passion for basketball drives me crazy like when he tirelessly writes out every. single. team on a piece of paper daily and then leaves said paper in some random spot throughout the house. I find them everywhere. I say tirelessly because I asked him yesterday if he ever gets bored or tired of writing out the teams. Nope. I'm not sure what purpose it serves but on the bright side, he's practicing his writing, right? Love that boy of mine.

Two days after Christmas, Anderson was mad at me. He had been in time out for breaking one of Christian's new toys. And he wasn't allowed to eat lunch until he talked to me about that incident but he had moved to the table anyway. When I told him his choices were between talking to me and eating or sitting in time out longer until he was ready for a chat, he got really worked up and ended up hitting me when I tried to remove him from the table. I sent him directly to his room and told him to come talk to me when he was ready. It took him a while but he approached me in my bedroom a little later. We plopped on the bed, had a good chat and he ran off to play. I commenced with cleaning up the basement a little and came across his brand new Christmas present broken to pieces, and in some places shreds. I went from calm and loving to raging in 2 seconds flat. Seriously. He spent the rest of the day in his bed and lost all of his stuffed animals including his brand new pillow pet and 2 angry birds. He was devastated! This animal lover of mine had a serious broken heart but I wasn't going to relent so easily. Being a parent was hard that day. He has since begun the long process of doing any chore when asked without question. If he does this he can earn each gift back by the end of the month--1 per week. Last week he got his pillow pet back and he's currently working on one of the angry birds. Next the cage and then the last angry bird. I feel like we successfully navigated that difficult situation and I'm hoping he won't be so destructive in the future. There's almost nothing I tolerate less than destructive behavior. This mama has 0-patience for that sort of thing.

Christian is the funniest 20 month old I know (but I should qualify that and say he's the only one I'm around much!) On Christmas Eve as the boys, my in laws, Marc and I toasted over our dinner of clam chowder and rolls, Christian learned to toast as well, with his sippy cup full of milk. As we went around the table giving thanks Christian would not be left out--he wasn't satisfied until everyone had clinked his cup, too. And I wish I had a picture of his satisfied grin each time.

On Saturday night we mopped the floor (why does that always come up in my blog posts?) as a family. We had finished the living room and moved into the kitchen when we noticed that Christian had grabbed a drying rag and joined the big boys in drying behind Marc's mopping and my rinsing. Seriously, he does the cutest things EVER!

I spent a lot of time in the kitchen today. On my list of things to make was a batch of baby food for Ella. I know I mentioned it last year but I gain so much satisfaction from making her food. Especially now that I don't nurse her anymore. Today's batch was a recipe of potatoes and spinach. When I tasted it, it made me think of scalloped potatoes. All I have to say is girlfriend better like it...we have to balance out all the squash and sweet potatoes that are giving her that baby orange glow.

And even though this has nothing to do with the children, one of the brightest spots of my day was this morning at 5 am when in the dim light of the bathroom I stepped on the scale before heading to the gym. And the number said I'm down 3-4 pounds. Woot!

Escapade

2011-12-17T21:03:00.000-08:00

***Interrupting my current blog hiatus to report the boys' latest escapade***

Today was a little crazy; the older boys who are typically pretty well behaved...above average for their age, I would say...were not that great. Was it overstimulation because of a completely booked Saturday? Was it because they are so excited to have nearly 3 weeks off of school for the holidays? I don't know! They just wouldn't listen to any instruction or direction from Marc or me. At one point in the evening Marc sat them down on Ella's blanket and told them in frustration that everything he was saying was going "in one ear and out the other." Not moments later Carter told us that something we said had finally gone in one ear and stayed. And we thought the humor would end there. Nope.

At around 9:45, after they had been tucked into their beds in their basement bedroom for almost 2 hours, Marc and I finished watching the latest episode of The Mentalist. Marc noticed the red light on our DVR box indicating something was recording on the TV in the basement. Curious, we checked to see what was being recorded. Sports Center. But then Marc noticed that Wild Kratts was playing downstairs, too. Hmmmmm.

I snuck downstairs to see if in fact the boys were up. I snuck back upstairs giggling. Yep, the TV was on. I didn't know if I could handle this without laughing but Marc was busy doing paperwork he's behind on for work so I snuck back down and watched the boys for a few minutes. They had no idea I was watching them.

Me: Do you know what time it is?

Them: No.

Me: You are in so much trouble (stiffling a laugh). Go upstairs and see your dad. Let's go...March!

Once upstairs, I wondered what Marc would do. He was so calm. Here are the highlights:

Marc: Why aren't you in bed like you are supposed to be.

After a bunch of I don't knows:

Anderson: I wasn't tired.

Carter: It was Anderson's idea. He wanted to watch cartoons and went out first but after a few minutes I did too. I didn't want him to be alone.

Me: You didn't want your brother to get in trouble by himself?

Carter: Yah.

Marc: (at Anderson)Why didn't you just come talk to us?

Carter: He was being a problem solver!

After a few outbursts of laughter, Marc gave them high 5s for being problem solvers and sent them back downstairs to continue to be problem solvers since Anderson "still wasn't tired." Cool dad, yes? Well, punishment comes in tomorrow.

Nursing Matters

2011-11-07T10:42:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago, I realized my milk was drying up. It was such a complicated (because Ella refuses a bottle) and emotional situation (because I don't think I'll ever live down the guilt I feel about those sad two months last year when I was starving Christian and I didn't realize it). The only option I saw was to increase my supply so I started pumping after EVERY feeding and taking Fenugreek and thankfully, things are looking up at this point. Last Friday, I found Christian holding the motor to my pump. He was looking at the on switch and the frequency wheel and then, what did he do? Yep, he pulled up his shirt and placed the motor on his belly button. What a smart boy.

In other nursing matters, Ella has started biting, or rather pinching me since she doesn't have teeth yet. I flick her, just like I did the boys when they would do the same thing. Since she is still so young, I started out giving light flicks. But she would giggle at me, clearly not getting the point. So last time she "bit" me I really flicked her. Guess what, she still laughed at me. I truly am so grateful for such a good natured baby, but really?

And by the way, Christian started walking last week...just days before his 18 month birthday. It was a joyous day.

Mopping

2011-09-27T14:20:00.001-07:00

I just finished mopping the floor...I haven't done that since the last time I posted. Yikes! It needed it so badly and I always have lofty goals of doing it more than once a month but let me tell you what my floor takes: Section by section of the entire main level of my house, I spray with a vinegar/water mixture, mop using a microfiber pad, then on my hands and knees I rinse it with water and dry with a clean rag. It's the only way to get a streak free shine. Now you know why I only mop once a month! The first time I ever mopped my floor it took 3 hours. I've whittled the time down to an hour but I usually have a little help. When I was pregnant, Marc and the boys would help. Today, Anderson was my little helper. I bribed him with a McDonald's lunch but I spun it a little differently for him and he became a willing helper. Boy, I love that boy of mine.

I had music playing and when we were just about done, Taylor Swift's Never Grow Up came on.

Anderson loves that song and he began talking about how no one wants him to grow up but that he wants to. I began wondering why I always tell the boys to stop growing but I sadly look forward to simpler days. I know the day will come when my house will be quiet and the kids will have grown up and gone. As Anderson babbled on about growing up and not breaking hearts, I envisioned myself in 20 years mopping my floor by myself with only Marc's and my needs to tend to and I told him he will break my heart...when he is no longer my little guy I can take to lunch and who will help me mop my floor. Usually (and sadly) I look forward to those quiet days of the future but today I don't. It was such a pleasant afternoon.

**What is equally as satisfying is that Anderson learned a lesson in work today and genuinely seemed pleased in his efforts and accomplishments.

8/22/11

2011-08-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I've had a day like today I had forgotten what it felt like--it's been one of those superwoman sort of days and it feels GOOD! I woke up with plans to get back on a gym routine but since Carter woke up sick, that plan was scratched pretty quickly. As sad as I was about skipping the gym, I was productive just the same:

90 minutes of vacuuming and mopping
2 rugs rotated (to ensure even wear)
2 walks to the school to drop off and pick up Anderson from kindergarten
6 loads of laundry, washed and dried (folding will happen tomorrow)
5 lists made (of fall shopping needs for the boys, home improvement projects to do, decorating projects to do, cleaning jobs, and birthday gifts to buy for Anderson)
1 doctor appointment made
1 trip to Sonic for drinks for the boys and me
more than 5 poppy diapers changed and more wet ones, too (to be honest, I lose count of exactly how many diapers I change a day)

Obviously, that doesn't include any meals I've prepared or cleaned up.

And it's only 5 o'clock. More to come before bed time, too. But for now, I have a crying baby to attend to.

Pretty Pretty Princess

2011-08-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

My little girl is nearly 3 months. I can hardly believe it. As much as I am loving everything about this little girl, I'll be honest, somedays are tough and I look forward to when she gets a little older and things get a little easier on the kid front. Because let's be real, life in general never actually gets easier. A few days ago my amazingly talented friend, Chelsea of ShutterBliss Photography came over and took a few shots of the pretty princess. And I'm seriously thrilled with them. When I look at Ella each day, I am always so amazed at how pretty she is. After having three boys, I guess it's just surreal. And these photos really capture her beauty and her personality.

If you live in the Colorado Springs area and need a photographer or know someone who does, send them to her: shutterblissphoto.com.

And So It Begins...

2011-08-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on our way into church, I accidentally caught Ella's finger on her car seat buckle and scratched it...OUCH! She cried her loud, hurt cry for 10 minutes. Okay, it probably wasn't 10 minutes, it was probably 2 or 3 but it sure seemed like 10 minutes compared to the time it would have taken the boys to calm down after a similar incident. As she was crying inconsolably, she seemed to say, Mom, you hurt my feelings! Whaa! (how do you spell that crying sound?)And so it begins...girl drama. But I wouldn't trade it for the whole world...I love my little lady.

...

Christian was a dream baby by all accounts. He accompanied the big boys on a trip to Idaho a few weeks ago and was a dream baby there, too. But when he came home, oh my! I kind of want to send him back. All of a sudden he's a monster toddler. He's into everything he shouldn't be and gets cranky often. He's even actually screamed at me and hit me a time or two. I'm hoping it's only teething but since he just cut his 6th tooth we've got a long road of that ahead of us. And so it begins...toddlerhood. (even though at 15 months, he's still not walking) Sigh.

...

Carter got invited to a birthday party on Saturday. It's the second one in a month and when he got the invitation in the mail, I could tell Anderson was feeling jipped. Anderson considers all of Carter's friends his own so he doesn't understand why he can't tag along to a birthday party. So to make sure he didn't feel too bad I planned a date with him. He wanted to go to a pet store but instead I planned to walk a friend's dog and go get a treat. I thought he'd love one on one time with his favorite animal. He didn't love it as much as I thought but that's beside the point. This friend of mine who let us walk her dog has two teenage boys that are close in age like Christian and Ella. I asked her what her boys were up to and she explained that one was on a boating trip with a friend and the other was moping because he hadn't gotten invited to go. She was pretty much in the same predicament I was in. And so it begins...the struggle of wanting to be a tag along brother. And I thought we'd grow out of that soon!

Ella

2011-07-26T20:34:00.000-07:00

I was planning on quitting the blog business after Ella was born...and I think I probably still will but for tonight I'll post a few pictures of the little lady or stinky lady. I call her which ever one fits for the moment. But little lady isn't going to fit her for long since she's growing like a weed. Seriously. Since she is our fourth and regrettably neither Marc nor I have talents in photography, our photos of her are few and far between. I'm hoping the memories of her as a baby will remain tucked away in my brain because even if we were talented photographers, our life might just be crazy enough right now that we wouldn't find the time to take more pictures.

The above photo is one of my favorite photos and was snapped in the early morning hours of her 3rd day of life. She was a terrible sleeper and Marc would snuggle her on the couch so I could catch a few hours of sleep here and there. Seriously, without him I would NOT have survived those first few weeks. Thank goodness for such a patient and giving husband and father.

The photo below was shot right around midnight on her 1 month birthday. Still not a great sleeper so I had rocked her, swaddled her, let her fuss and finally put her in her bouncy to see if she'd sleep. No dice. But isn't she ADORABLE? She still looks the same today on her 2 month birthday, just a little chunkier and a much better sleeper. Thank you, BABYWISE!!!

Life with 4 is a little crazy but definitely managable. I'm sitting here on the tail end of summer realizing WE MADE IT! At the end of every week I think: we survived another one! When summer began I certainly wasn't sure if we'd survive it but we have and aren't too much worse for the wear.

9 months in the making...

2011-05-28T22:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a long 9 months but when I think back (and look at all those pictures I just downloaded the other day) we've done quite a bit, the most difficult thing, I think, was growing another baby:

(arriving at the hospital for my induction

my only official belly shot of the entire pregnancy)

7:30 am Arrive at the hospital

8:30 am Dilated to a 1; get the cytotec

10:30 am Still dilated to a 1

12:30 pm Dilated to a 3; Dr. breaks my water

2:00 pm Receive epidural and get put on pitocin

4:30 pm Still dilated to a 3

My sister spent a few hours with us at the hospital, keeping us company but both of us were discouraged that I was progressing so slowly--she wanted to see the baby born but had to leave at 5 for another commitment. I called my parents to bring the boys by because I missed them terribly and like I said, the baby was showing no signs of a quick arrival. They spent a short time with us after Carter got home from school.

5 ish pm Danette leaves

5:20 pm My parents and boys leave

Around 5:30 or 5:40 I suddenly and I mean suddenly felt one contraction (only the pressure of it--thank goodness for epidurals!) Then I felt the pressure to push. The nurse checked me and I was ready. The dr. walked in, (he was on his way to my room anyway; he had come earlier and said he'd come back when the kids left) got his gown on, sat down, and I could tell he was basically holding her head. I pushed on the next contraction and she came right out at 5:45 pm. Since pushing for a mere 15 minutes with a nearly 9 lb boy my first time around 7 years ago, I've always said if I could have a teeny little girl, she'd fall right out. I was always joking a little and had no idea it would actually happen exactly that way someday! It was a whirlwind few minutes and laughable that her arrival was missed by everyone by just a few minutes.

(Christian laying on his sister just minutes before she was born.

What you can't see in this picture is that Christian's shirt says 'I'm the BIG Brother.'

Should they even sell that shirt in 12 months size? Probably not!)

Baby Ella
Born 5:45 pm
6 lbs. 14 oz.

(My parents rushed back to the hospital after feeding the boys some dinner.
They saw her and loved her instantly, even though she hadn't even had her bath yet and was still quite gooey!)

(I usually fore go posting terrible pictures of me on this blog, but so far this gives the best idea of what she looks like. And no I did not color coordinate us--it just happened that way.)

Some Thoughts Hours Before

2011-05-26T03:50:00.000-07:00

I check into the hospital in 2 1/2 hours for an induction. Unfortunately, that Tylonol PM didn't work too well and I've tossed and turned in bed for a few hours until just a few minutes ago when I decided I was hungry. These are the thoughts that keep running through my head, not allowing me to sleep...

I just did this...I just did this...I just did this...

What if my body doesn't react well to the pitocin?

I don't want an IV! That part hurt really bad last year.

I'm afraid of getting an epidural.

I'm afraid of not getting an epidural.

I hate recovering from the birth...being swollen and bleeding...bathroom breaks are such a hassle.

I don't want to learn to nurse a new baby again. It's so hard for the first little while.

The first night (especially in the hospital) is so hard.

What if she's colicky? I've never had a colicky baby and I don't know if I'm equipped to handle that this time around.

What if something goes wrong...with me...or the baby?

What if she won't sleep?

I just did this...I just did this...I just did this...

It's all still a little too fresh from last year--and even though Christian was a dream baby, the problem is, he's still a baby. Not even 13 months old. I still have very clear memories of pretty much all of it--the labor, the delivery, the recovery. But he was a decent sleeper from the get go and by 7 weeks he was pretty much sleeping through the night so I'm paranoid that this little one won't sleep (because how lucky can I get the second time in a row?) and sleep deprivation leads me down the quick road to overwhelmed. Which brings me full circle--since I haven't really slept well tonight, I'm feeling significantly overwhelmed with my only task for the day: have a baby.

Odds and Ends

2011-05-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

This little cutie pie learned how to say "uh-oh." It is so darn cute. He also likes green smoothies and continues to woo every one with those big blue eyes and long eyelashes. It will be a serious crime if baby girl doesn't have Anderson and Christian's eyelashes and isn't born with hair like the rest of my babies.

. . .

I was downloading my pictures to the computer the other day...can you believe I haven't done that since October? Yikes! But I came across this gem--seriously, are you laughing like I am?

. . .

Almost every morning I remember to count my blessing for this child of mine:
This morning is no different--I am completely overwhelmed by his completely cooperative nature. He crawled into bed with me at 6:45 and tried really hard not to wake me up...but that's almost time to wake up anyway so we got up a few minutes later. He ate his breakfast and then all I had to do was tell him what the weather was expected to be and he went and got ready for school--I didn't have to remind him to brush his teeth. I didn't have to remind him to grab socks. (Changing his underwear might be a different story but I typically fold the proper number each week so I'm not terribly concerned about that!) Then, like every Monday he brought his laundry up like I asked and sorted it. He is so good at sorting his laundry, better than Marc is if Marc doesn't mind my saying so! I asked him to pack his own lunch this morning because I was so tired and trying to feed Christian so he did that, too without complaining. Then he got to play for a bit and when I called him to get in the car, he quickly got his sweatshirt and shoes on, both were already by the garage door, ready to go. He makes school morning go so smoothly and I couldn't be more grateful. I just love Carter.

. . .

I got my diaper bag in the mail last week. I chose this one, used it for the first time yesterday and love it to pieces so far. . . .

I am scheduled to be induced on Thursday if the little girl doesn't make her debut before then. It's funny how last year I was completely opposed to getting induced (hence Christian was a whole week late!) and having the epidural and this year we're doing this completely different. I suppose it is under different circumstances, though. The only way I can possibly think about labor without having a panic attack right now is thinking of the nurse coming in, checking me and saying "Let's have this baby!" and me smiling and saying "Alright!" because I can't feel anything like I did with Carter's birth. Anderson's and Christians births were a little more intense since epidurals weren't involved and remembering those experiences at this point puts me a little (or a lot) on edge. Ideally, I'd like to go into labor on my own, though. I just really love that feeling and want to experience it one more time. I've been praying for that for weeks now, but I've also resigned myself to checking into the hospital Thursday morning with a bag full of things to do while we wait for the baby to come. Except I don't know what to pack in that bag. Suggestions for those of you who have done that before?

Regardless, I have 3 more days of pregnancy and that thought is wonderful.

. . .

I haven't been able to find anyone since leaving Utah nearly 7 years ago that waxes my eyebrows just how I like them. In fact, I've only had them done once here and it was such a disaster that I've been shaping them on my own for almost 4 years. I've made a few mistakes--you know the ones when that little person on your shoulder has to tell you to step away from the mirror and set the tweezers down. Yesterday wasn't one of those mornings. This morning wasn't either but I'm not completely happy with my left eyebrow and wish I could trust someone to shape it without taking too much off. My right eyebrow is perfect, why can't my left one be perfect, too?

. . .

Anyone know where to get a good No Soliciting sign? It's that time of year again and last summer there were days when I'd get 5, yes 5! solicitors in the late afternoon/evening. They ring the doorbell, wake up the sleeping baby, and then proceed to annoy me. I know I can't deal with it again this summer! Oh, and if you are reading this, and if you stop by my house anytime in the next few years, please knock. I hate when the doorbell disturbs nap time.

. . .

I can already tell Blogger is going to mess up the format of this post---grrrr.

The Diaper Bag Dilemma

2011-05-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

I need a new diaper bag. I guess the word need is relative--Marc would disagree with my first statement. So let me rephrase: I feel I need a new diaper bag. I've been looking and looking and I finally found 2 that I think would work. Stylistically, they are worlds apart. I just can't decide which direction to go:

What do you think?

Sunday Afternoon

2011-05-01T16:02:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to do things by myself around the house, like say make the cookies that Marc and Anderson are making right now. Here's how it is going down:

Marc (while reading the recipe): Should I half this recipe--1 lb. of butter seems like a lot.
Me: Yes--I usually half that recipe.

Then Marc nearly puts a whole pound of butter in for half the recipe, but catches his mistake. For a math genius, that was surprising.

Marc: Do we have brown sugar?
Me: Yes, it's on one of the bottom two shelves in the pantry.
Marc: Are these chocolate chips miniature? (He holds up an opened bag of chocolate chips that is closed with a twisty tie)
Me: I don't know. What does the bag say?
Marc: It says semi-sweet.
Me: (silence)
Marc: Oh, yah. These are miniature. (He then pulls out another bag of semi sweet chocolate chips that is almost gone.) I'll use these, they're almost gone.
Me: That recipe calls for semi sweet and milk chocolate. You should use both.

Marc: Should I pack the brown sugar?
Marc: How do you half a recipe that calls for 3 eggs.
Me: Put in 2.
Marc: Which attachment should I use?
Marc: What speed is appropriate for creaming?

About half way through this conversation I put my hands on my face, asked him if he'd rather I make the cookies and told him I was about to go crazy and it might be easier to do it myself. Then he politely asked if I would give him a warning before I go crazy. Oh dear. Delegation is difficult for me. I literally cannot watch him clean the bathrooms!

Obsession

2011-04-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

I saw this t-shirt at Old Navy today:

It perfectly describes my oldest boys' state of mind.

They talk about, play, and/or watch basketball 24/7.

Besides when they are at school, doing homework, eating or sleeping of course.

And it's driving me crazy!

Should I buy them each one?

Window Shopping

2011-04-18T14:51:00.000-07:00

I'll take two of these please:

(Jackson Metal Tub Chair from World Market)

You're Gonna Miss This

2011-04-15T15:47:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. Not a huge problem, really, but if left unchecked it could be. And from what I can figure, after thinking about it since yesterday morning, my problem stems from me being a "planner." I like to plan things--from the big things like having babies (which is why this whole 4th pregnancy thing has been so tough to wrap my mind around that I almost sound flippant about it if you ask me about it on the wrong day) to my kids birthday parties (Carter's 7th is coming up and I'm hoping it'll turn out fun for the kids,) and holiday meals. I make lists. I have a calendar that I write things on--because I still kind of like doing things the old fashioned way with pen and paper. I am a planner. And it typically gives me things to look forward to. Right now I'm looking forward to an Easter Egg Hunt/Dinner with my family next weekend, Carter's 7th birthday party in about a month, and then the obvious--the last day of school and having our baby which pretty much coincide. Does this sound like a problem yet? Not really. It's the typical life of anyone, right? But yesterday I heard this: on the radio after dropping Carter off at school and I sat and cried in the driver's seat of my van in my driveway for a few minutes as I realized that instead of enjoying every precious moment with my boys right now, I am looking for the next big thing--Easter, birthday party, and most often just not being pregnant anymore and having this baby! Every "young" mother has heard it so many times it almost makes us sick, I think, that we need to embrace our stage in life with littles running around "messing up" our clean houses, "messing up" our plans of going to the gym by getting sick, making our grocery shopping excursions "difficult," . . .I could go on and on, right? After a few tears (and Anderson thinking I was a nut job) I went on with my day. . .cleaning up, running errands, making phone calls, being a supportive wife/sister/friend, making dinner. And then at the end of the day I came across this quote: "The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead." {Marjorie Pay Hinckley} Again, I thought to myself, I'm guilty of that! Especially right now. I just want to not be pregnant anymore and get on with my life. I say often, that I love Christian's age (11 months) and wish I could enjoy it more but I'm nearly 34 weeks pregnant and finding it quite difficult to care for him so I often find myself wishing my days away, waiting for better ones ahead when I can get back to life. This probably seems reasonable to anyone who has been pregnant before and on one side of the coin I think it is--but on the other--I could be better at being okay with where I'm at right now, this day, this moment. Because after all, I do know it now--I'm gonna miss this and I'm never going to get back to this--having little arms wrap around my neck and kiss my cheek or my "waist" (or lack thereof) and kiss my baby bump, while I rest on the couch. Or immediately smile when they see me for the first time that day, or any of the other very special things little ones do to tell their one and only mama they love her.

Quote of the Day

2011-04-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

I bought Anderson a Happy Meal on the way out of Walmart this afternoon. When we got home and were eating lunch, Anderson said to me, "I wish I were a french fry." He was dipping a french fry in ketchup as he said this. I immediately thought to myself how he fascinates me--I wonder what goes through his head all the time if this was just one moment in time. Of course I followed his question with, "Why do you wish you were a french fry?" His response: "I want to know what it feels like to be dipped in ketchup." Oh how I love the mind of my 4 year old. In other news, he held my shopping list for me while we were in Walmart and when we were in the produce section he pointed to one of my items and asked--does this say "tomato?" It did. Then I watched him point to the word and sound it out again. Ugg. I wish he would stop growing up.

"Well, it's happened. It took a little longer than I thought but it's happened."

2011-03-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

*can you name that movie quote?*

Let's start at the beginning. When Carter was still just a growing boy in my belly, I discovered something about Marc and some of his family members. When naming their children, they "test" names using the rhyming song to make sure the name is safe. You know that song--you sang it on the playground in 3rd grade with your friends just like I did, right? "Diana, Diana bo-bi-ana. Fee-fi-fo-fiana . . ." This song and other factors made naming Carter a challenge. Tucker was nixed pretty quickly. When the baby made his debut, we had 3 names to choose from. Really I only liked one. Marc liked the other two. So when he didn't turn out to be a "Porter" or a "Maxwell" (Marc's picks) we or should I say he settled on Carter and I rejoiced. That was my pick. One day a few weeks later, we were taking a family stroll when Marc burst into song--the rhyming song. He stopped quick, turned to me and wondered, How on Earth did I let you get away with that!?!? We had a good laugh. It was a little late to change things at that point.

Fast forward to yesterday.

I was in the baby's almost finished bedroom--in paint terms that is. I was sorting through the many many boxes of hand me downs I've received from a friend. Carter came upstairs and in a quiet, hurt voice told me that Anderson was making fun of his name. I had a flash back. I knew what was going on but I asked anyway. He's saying Carter Farter.

Maybe 1st grade is a little young to expect that he would have already figured out his unfortunate name rhyme, on his own or with the "help" of his friends, but when thinking about the day's funniest vignette later last night, this quote immediately came to mind--"Well, it's happened. It took a little longer than I thought, but it's happened." And I sure didn't expect our first taste of it to be from his younger (by 2 1/2 years!) brother.

Odds and Ends

2011-03-03T17:39:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I told a friend I was surprised by the reaction I have gotten from strangers regarding my pregnancy. Literally, I had received nothing but kind, encouraging remarks. That is until Tuesday. On Tuesday, the lady at the post office, (and Marc can vouch for this, he was there) told me when she found out we had three boys that she had two boys and was smart enough to stop there. Nice, right? Then yesterday at in the doctor's office waiting room a patient walked in and told the other pregnant lady there and myself that she wished she was almost done like we were. The other lady said nothing. I told her I wasn't almost done but maybe I was in relation to her time left. Then she said she was 6 months along and due in June. I'm 6 months along and due May 30th. I just look like I should be farther along, I guess. Then she started telling Christian she wished she was having a boy but she was having a girl. When we said (Marc was there for this one, too) we were having our first girl after 3 boys, she began telling us how terribly difficult baby girls are: they are demanding, emotional, dramatic etc, etc. I just hate it when people tell me those things about baby girls, anticipating that my baby girl will be exactly like theirs. I know that this baby will be different in a lot of ways than my boys, but I do not think that every baby girl comes out and fits into one mold. All kids are different so just because this little girl or that little girl does this and that doesn't mean mine will be the same. She might, but I say leave some room for the might not. You know? . . . I tell my boys everyday to stop growing up. Carter has made huge progress in his reading lately and Anderson surprises me just about everyday with his logic and intelligence. It makes me proud and sad that they are growing so quickly. . . . After the comment from the lady at the Dr.'s office yesterday and then seeing myself in a dressing room mirror right afterwards, I think I might be in denial at how big I'm getting. I don't feel small but I also usually don't feel like a whale. But now I'm wondering if I'm delusional. The lady (unintentionally, albeit) and the mirror were not kind. . . . At 10 months (today!) Christian is crawling wherever he pleases, pulling himself up onto the first stair, a short toy, and to standing in his crib, and eating only big people food while also becoming picky. One day he'll like something, the next not so much, and then next it's fine again. Tonight he ate 2 tomatoes before deciding he only wanted his mac and cheese and he spit out every bite of avocado I fed him. But a few days ago he gobbled those veggies up. I love him. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the whole world especially when he grabs my face and then sticks his thumb in his mouth while still holding on. He doesn't do this to anyone else and it makes me feel special. But I am getting to the point where carrying him is a strain on my back. I hope I can manage the next few months. . . . I'm thinking about finding a pattern for the baby's blessing dress and having the dress made out of my wedding dress. But I'm afraid to put a final stamp on that decision. Is that a good idea or a bad one? What do you think? . . . Yesterday we had the guy who laid our carpet in the basement come fix a part that was coming up and also fix the carpet/tile transition to our master bath. It cost 90 bucks. A little steep in my opinion but I suppose it's good to have it done. After I paid him, he noticed that Christian's nose was crusty--remnants of the cold he's getting over and man does he HATE having his nose wiped so sometimes I leave the crusties on. The carpet guy "let me in on a little secret" because he has 4 kids of his own and has "done his research" and "doesn't trust doctors." There's some sort of magic in silver that is a cure all. You can get some sort of liquid form of it at vitamin stores and a few drops of it will cure anything. My say: "Thank you Mr. Carpet Guy. I trust you to lay carpet and that's about it. I do not trust the medical advice you give me because unlike you, I think the 8 years of book work that doctors do actually mean something. I think the 4 and sometime more practical work they have to do after those 8 years mean something. But I guess since I paid you $90, I'll listen, nod and thank you when you walk out the door."

2011-02-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

I cannot stop looking at this picture. It makes me smile from ear to ear.

And it is my new wallpaper on my phone.

Pregnancy Woes

2011-01-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

Remember last April, when in my heightened emotional state at 39 weeks pregnant, I feared I might be the first woman to remain pregnant forever? (Go here if you don't!) That seems so ironic to me now--now that I'm pregnant for a portion of a third consecutive year. Yes, you read that right. THIRD CONSECUTIVE YEAR! I was pregnant for the last 4 1/2 months of 2009, the first 4 months and last 4 months of 2010 and will be pregnant for the first 5 months of this year. Let me put this out there once and for all so I can get on with the remaining 4 months of this: I HATE BEING PREGNANT.

I woke up yesterday to a swollen nose. I thought my face wouldn't get swollen until the end of my pregnancy. I've been waking up with swollen fingers and ankles already. I've been dealing with back pain already and am running to the bathroom frequently. And like I said, I still have a whopping 4 months left. These symptoms are only going to get worse. Does anyone wonder how Michelle Duggar does it. 19 kids and counting--hah. That is hopefully not my lot in life.

But, on the brighter side of things, she's beginning to move a little more, which I'm afraid after this might seem normal to me and I might infact not know what to do with myself once I don't feel little bundles of movement inside me this summer. Marc and I still can't get used to saying "her" and "she," and Carter has already started calling her by the name we think she'll have. That goes against everything we've ever done with the last 3 pregnancies but then again, what part of this pregnancy is like the last 3? Pretty much nothing so there you have it. And while yes, I hate being pregnant, I don't want to paint the picture that I am sad to have another baby. I'm not.

Blessings

2011-01-18T14:36:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I got the most pleasant of surprises. A quiet knock on the door--which is always appreciated when you have sleeping children in the house--and a smiling friend on the other side. In her hands was that perfect, green polk-a-dot blanket I mentioned in my previous post. The one I had lost. But it wasn't mine. Mine is long gone. It was hers and now that she doesn't need it anymore, she gave hers to me. So now I can wrap my growing baby boy in the green one and my soon to come baby girl in the pink one. Isn't she so thoughtful? I am one lucky girl to be blessed with such great friends.

The Peanut and The Princess

2011-01-06T09:09:00.001-08:00

In 2006, when Anderson was this little guy, I saw that blanket at target and HAD to have it. It was the perfect shade of green, reversible, and so soft. It was $10 or so and on a student budget, perhaps something I could have lived without but I didn't want to live without it so I bought it. Sadly, about 2 months ago, it got lost somewhere between the doctors office and our house. It's a mystery as to where it is and I'm a little sad about it.

About a year after I bought the green one, I saw the pink one on sale for $6. Since I loved the green one so much and thought perhaps I might have a girl someday and since we were no longer on a student budget, I picked that one up--I think it might have been the very last one on the shelf. It's been in storage ever since.

. . . . . .

Last year, (you might remember,) when we found out Christian was a boy, I cried. For a day. Maybe two. But certainly, I cried through the entire doctors appointment that followed the ultrasound. It was embarrassing and looking back I can't figure out why. Christian is the sweetest baby around and I certainly wouldn't trade him for all the girls in the entire world. But as I prepared for our ultrasound that was yesterday, I told Marc I did NOT want a repeat. So we concocted a plan. And the plan was this:

We'd provide the ultrasound tech with an envelop and and a piece of paper on which to circle girl or boy. We would open the envelop after the doctors appointment so that I could focus on any information the doctor needed to share with us instead of the emotions of finding out the gender. Marc took the plan a little farther and told me he and the boys would open it as soon as they left the ultrasound and while I visited with the doctor, he would take them to the store, buy gender appropriate party supplies, and take the boys home to prepare and wait for me. And that's how it went.

When I got home from the doctor, the boys were holding numbered yellow balloons. Marc had stuffed a word in each balloon and as I popped each balloon in order the words formed this sentence:

Congratulations. You are about to become the mother of a beautiful, little, gorgeous. . .

(as I opened the word gorgeous I looked at Marc with wide eyes and he just told me to keep popping balloons!)

. . .baby GIRL!

Marc also bought a Tangled party poster and a little pink sign that said, Party Girl. I didn't even notice those as I was popping balloons.

I cried. A lot. And as soon as we're ready to put the nursery together, that pink polk-a-dot blanket will be coming out of storage and become a permanant fixture in our house.

. . . . . .

The boys are THRILLED. In fact, Anderson bounced out of bed this morning, which is against his nature. When I asked him why he was so happy he said, Because we're getting a girl.

Carter has said three really really funny things about it yesterday:

1. With a groan, she's going to be sooo spoiled.

2. Again, with a groan, now we're going to have barbies in our house.

3. What are you gonna call her. Christian's already the peanut. I told him she'd probably be the princess.

Christian just looked at me when I found out it was a girl with these eyes that said he had known all along.

And Marc had to jet straight back to work and then went straight to scouts for 3 meetings last night and since he's not an emotional guy anyway the only thing I can get out of him is that yah, he's excited but he would be excited either way.

And don't get me wrong, yesterday was one of the happiest days I've had in a very long time, but all of a sudden I'm stressed. I have NO IDEA how to buy baby clothes for a girl. I was online at The Children's Place for no more than a minute and a wave of stress washed over me when I saw this dress:

Marc is going to wonder why I can't just simply be happy.

PS--I'm finally excited to be pregnant!

Energizer Bunny

2010-12-31T12:04:00.000-08:00

I bet when you opened this you expected to read a post on Anderson or Carter. Maybe even Christian (who thankfully for the time being isn't quite mobile!). But no, this one goes out to Marc.

The other night we were out with friends. I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time. Seriously my cheeks ached on the way home. Sometime during the evening, I heard Marc telling a fellow husband what he did on his day off that week. He had painted the doors and trim for our basement, stained the banister, taken the boys on a hike, and done a few other odds and ends before calling it a day. Our friend asked him where he got all of his energy. That got me thinking. Where does he get all his energy? My goodness. You want to know what I did that day? I had intended to do any number of things but all I did was sort laundry and do a few loads and go grocery shopping. I laid in bed most of the morning because hey, when your husband is home to take care of everything else why not, right? No, I was a little sick that morning but still. The amount of energy he has simply exhausts me right now.

He has today off, too. Hurray! (On a side note, I have no idea how I'm going to go back to a regular work week when he's been getting 3 or 4 day weekends for the last 3 weeks. I've been so spoiled compared to years past.) This morning we woke up and started painting the basement some more. Most of it was done a few weeks ago (by Marc) but now that the trim is done and the carpet is in, we have a lot of touch up work to finish. We worked all morning. This time I was well enough to help and we worked for 3 hours or so. When Christian woke up from his morning nap, Marc decided to take a break to go to the bank and open savings accounts for the boys and make the last of the Christmas returns. As he was leaving, he grabbed Christian out of the exersaucer and put his coat on him. I was surprised. I avoid running errands with all 3 boys like the plague. Oh, I do it. But I don't love to do it and I if I find myself having to do it it's one short errand and then back home, but Marc gladly does it just to make my life easier. And that's the other thing, not only does his amount of energy exhaust me, but I feel so undeserving of the spoiling, too. If I couldn't get to something because I ran out of energy, he gladly does it. The bathrooms, the mopping, the groceries, dinner. You name it, he'll do it. Without resenting the fact that I might be laying in bed or watching TV.

So, while he's out with the 3 boys in the snow and running errands, I better do something better with my time than blog. Like clean the kitchen. Or dust. Or finally get to cleaning the bathrooms that have been waiting on me all week.

Almost

2010-12-14T20:00:00.001-08:00

I don't usually prepare ahead of time.

At least not before the ultrasound.

But this time, everything is different.

For one thing, I still like the other name we took to the hospital last May to "try on" our newborn.

And it very likely could be the name of this next babe of ours.

I can't help but think Christian and a little buddy were in cahoots up in heaven and this is their little trick on us.

So, when I came across this little outfit in the store the other day, I fell in love.

But I didn't buy it.

However, I just kept thinking about it, so I swung by and picked it up today.

I thought I'd have to settle for the newborn size, as that's the only size they had the first time I saw it. That size would last maybe a week but I was willing to do that just because it's so cute! But today, they had a 3 months size. It was meant to be, I'm sure.

Marc thinks that because this time, we're prepared for a boy, it will be a girl.

I just don't see that happening.

Just looking at this little sleeper, I can almost smell another newborn.

I can almost picture another snuggle-y boy with dark hair and blue eyes.

I can almost hear a baby cry.

And I'm almost excited.

Which gives me a glimmer of hope--I might actually get excited someday.

oh how i wish. . .

2010-12-10T07:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my dear friend (who happens to be the RS president in our ward) offered to watch my 2 younger boys for 2 hours so I could do whatever I wanted. When she picked them up I all of a sudden felt empty. In fact besides last weekend when I left Christian with my sister so I could attend Marc's (disastrous) work holiday party, I couldn't think of a time I'd left Christian with anyone at all.

I decided to run a few errands and while I was out, I spotted these boots:

Love.

In other news--before he left for school today but after I told him that I'd be picking him up from school today instead of the usual carpool arrangement we have going, (which is a true blessing!) Carter asked me if I'd be taking a shower today. Was he trying to send me a message? Like don't you dare show up at school today without showering? I might not wash my hair everyday but I certainly take a shower every day. I promise. And why does he care? He's only in 1st grade!

Vignettes

2010-12-08T18:18:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I made a simple dinner of fresh tomato sauce over angel hair pasta. It did not sit well with the baby and not 5 minutes after finishing I was kneeling over the toilet. Since Marc was home and had things under control, I decided to call it a night after that. Wouldn't you? I changed into my pjs and tucked myself into bed with the remote. Anderson saw me watching tv and the following conversation ensued:

A: Why do you get to watch more TV from us?
Me: Because I just threw up.
A: (wide eyed, eye brows raised and with excitement) You did? That was your first time! (side note--he clearly remembers how often I threw up last year)
Me: No, it was my 7th. (It was probably my 9th, at that point I was still able to keep track. That is no longer the case)
A: Can I see it?
Me: No. I flushed it.
A: Are you still sick?
Me: Yes. My stomach still hurts.
A: Oh. . .can I kiss you?
Me: Yes.

Then, without a kiss, he turned and went back downstairs. A few minutes later he and Carter climbed the stairs, headed for their room. He whispered to Carter--She's still sick. But you can kiss her. However, I didn't get a kiss then either. A few minutes after that, Anderson returned to my room to inform me that he wanted a new daddy--apparently Marc had made him angry.

- - -
Last night we finally put up our Christmas tree. It's usually up much earlier in the season, but I just couldn't do it without mopping my floors and since the drywall for our basement was getting installed last week causing a light layer of dust everywhere, I just wasn't going to mop until they were all finished. Monday night we mopped and yesterday we put up the tree. Anderson and I put the tree up and strung the lights while Marc was at work and Carter was at school. Every year I vow I'll do a better job with the lights and every year the bottom branches are sparkle-less because I can't quite get it right. Sigh. By the time we were ready to put the ornaments on after dinner, I was focused on keeping my food in my stomach. So I sat on the chair pulled the ornament box out and Carter began his instructions: first we'll organize the ornaments, then. . . Yes, this is usually how we do it. We unwrap all of the ornaments. Organize them into piles for each person. Then we hang them on the tree. That's how we did it while I was growing up, that's how I do it now. I love how he is beginning to remember tradition but I had to interrupt him. This year, mommy is feeling sick so I'll sit here and unwrap them and hand them to you and Anderson and Daddy can help you hang them. Last night I noticed one ornament was backwards. I fixed it. Tonight I noticed another hung backwards. I didn't fix it. Because this is the year of the imperfect tree.

- - -
I cried in the middle of Walmart today. I was standing in the check out line listening to the lady in front of me talk on the phone about a loved one having bowel problems. I could tell who(m?)ever she was talking about was sick and possibly in the hospital. Intermittently, she was patiently teaching her pre-teen daughter how she likes to unload her groceries onto the belt and then re-load the bags into the cart. Her explanations were very wise. She seemed to be very methodical. She sent her mother who was also shopping with her to go get some things that I guess the person on the phone had said she might need. Meanwhile, she explained to her daughter that this is what they had been preparing themselves for--this is what hospice ment. I assumed they were speaking about a grandfather or a distant relative. Until mom came back saying that pedialyte was found in the peds unit. They both laughed. The daughter wondered what was funny. Mom explained to her that they were so used to talking about the peds unit at the hospital that they had transferred that lingo to Walmart. My heart sank. I wondered if it was inappropriate to ask questions but I couldn't help it. I asked. And as soon as she told me it was her son I started crying. He's 4 1/2. He has a terribly rare disease. He's at home on hospice. There wasn't a lot of time for details but I cried and apologized for crying because she was so put together but my tears made her and her daughter tear up. She asked for prayers. I told her that I would absolutely pray and I wished them a Merry Christmas.

it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad. . .

2010-12-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

idea to watch an episode of Ghost Whisperer right before falling asleep last night. It was also probably a very bad idea to change my chalk board menu board right before going to bed, too. The chalk dust settled into my throat and because I have a cough and cold I've been trying to kick for nearly a week, and because of the nature of the television show I watched, I dreamt all night long that I was drowning. I kept gasping for air and choking and coughing but I couldn't wake up enough to resolve these issues and then settle in for a good nights sleep. So I woke up at 5. By 6:30 I was tired again and settled back in bed to rest and wait for the children to wake up. I found myself watching A Baby Story which also turned out to be a terrible, horrible idea. It hasn't been long enough since Christian's birth to forget and now I have to do it all over again in just a few short months. Exhaustion plus fear took me just moments away from a panic attack. Ugg.

Beautiful boys (Darling boys)

2010-12-01T19:12:00.000-08:00

I am positively tickled pink (and almost speechless) at how well these photos of my 3 beautiful boys turned out:

A smooch for you, my dear newly turned basketball fanatic.

A smooch for you my dear, stuffed animal lover. (he's gonna get his animal time in whenever he can--and right now it's with the stuffed ones!)

And because he'll still let me and laugh about it--about a hundred million smooches for you my dear, sweet baby.

We've been down this road before. . .

2010-11-22T18:51:00.000-08:00

Today I did something that I did exactly 7 years ago for the first time. I did it last year at about this time, too but it's the time 7 years ago that is really resonating with me.

On January 6, 2004, Marc and I sat in a doctor's office with a blank VHS (what, they still did VHS only 7 years ago?) in our hands. An ultrasound tech popped the tape into her machine, I laid down on the exam table, lifted my pink sweater up to expose my bulging belly, and stared at the screen as she rolled the wand over my lubed up skin to check for all the right parts. She found them, announced to us that we were having a boy, and then told me there was a mass on the outside of my uterus. Then, we were ushered into an exam room where Dr. Berry came in to discuss my health, not the baby's. As it turned out I had a fibroid, but before we came to that conclusion, I spent 2 weeks getting MRIs, seeing specialists, and thinking I might lose my first child, die myself, and/or never have more children again. Oh yes, those were good times.

Today I scheduled my ultrasound. On January 5, 2011, Marc and I will be sitting in a [different] doctor's office with 3 boys in tow. I will lay down on the exam table, lift up my shirt to expose my bulging belly, stare at the screen while she rolls the wand over my lubed up skin to check for all the right parts. She'll find them and probably announce that in fact it is another boy. We'll have to wait and see on that though. I can't help but be a little nervous--the feelings of that cold day in January 7 years ago will never be forgotten and the dates seem a little too coincidental. Yes, we've been down this road before, this exact road before. Carter's birthday and due date for #4 are just days away from each other.

Other thoughts I have frequently:

*Why oh why do I have to be pregnant 2 Christmases in a row? I hate not feeling like myself during the holidays.

*I didn't even have a chance to get used to being a mom of 3. Now #4 is on the way and while I feel in control today, I certainly don't feel like that everyday and come June I probably won't be feeling that at all.

*If you think you are surprised, imagine how we feel.

Emotion

2010-11-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

I can't help but think of emotions lately. Mine are all over the place and I know it. I'm trying not to think of what is coming my way in the months and years ahead of me. Instead, I'm focusing on each moment and I'm simply fascinated at the spectrum of my emotions. Today:

I felt satisfied that I had energy to get the kitchen clean, the laundry started, the boys fed, all by 8:30 am even though Christian was up screaming, trying to cut his second tooth until after midnight last night.

I felt frustrated at how bossy Marc seemed to be--barking orders to help him clean out the basement. (Disclaimer: Marc is a dear husband, this was simply my perception, today.)

I felt hopeful when Christian continued a feeding triumph--2 bottles yesterday, 2 today! Growing baby here we come!

I felt grateful that the boys wanted to try something new at dinner.

I felt confused and pressured while trying to make decisions for our upcoming basement finish.

I felt joy each time I squeezed a giggle or a smile or a love out of my baby.

I felt content to sit and play a game of War with Carter and Anderson before kissing them and sending them off to sweet slumbers.

I felt broken hearted when Carter expressed his worries about being the responsible oldest child tonight before bed. Maybe his six year old slumbers aren't sweet any more and that scares me.

Right now I'm anticipating a yummy treat Marc is bringing home for me. And I'm hoping to not be disappointed.

What kind of emotions did you feel today?

Odds and Ends

2010-11-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

Last night started out a good night, even though Marc was at his *cross your fingers* last football game of the season. I tucked Christian into bed, the boys and I played a game of cootie and ordered pizza, and while they were tucked into their sleeping bags watching Astroboy, I sat on my bed folding the last bits of Tuesday's clean laundry. *I hope someone else does that too--fold the remaining clean laundry in the baskets right before it's time to do more laundry!* The peaceful quiet of satisfied children was disturbed by crashing glass. I raced downstairs, the boys had jumped up from their sleeping bags while I *sadly* accused them of having done something but once I was fully downstairs I could clearly see that they hadn't been messing with anything. I assessed all of our *pathetically out of date* chandeliers to find they were all intact. Then I saw shards of glass littered across the front of my living room and as I walked closer, I found a rock laying on the floor. Someone threw a rock through our window and then disappeared into the night. Thank you, stranger for disturbing my weekend. Why couldn't it have been one of my *pathetically out of date* chandeliers?

The window is patched for now and we'll get a replacement pane in a few days, just in time for snow.

Oh and on his mad rush home from the football game, Marc got pulled over by the police. Thankfully I had called 911 so the policeman checked his radio to find Marc's story true and sent him on his way with a warning to just get home safe.

. . .
Yesterday Christian had his 6 month check up with Goulda our fabulous physicians assistant. Christian has all but stopped growing. He grew one inch (normal) and only gained 12 ounces (not normal). I hear him gulping milk each time I feed him. He's a happy baby and sleeps well--signs he is not malnourished or starving. But we're going to take measures to try to fatten him up--sippy train him with formula, as he won't take a bottle, add formula to his cereal with mixed fruit or veggies etc. etc.

I'm sad. I feel solely responsible for his skinny-ness. My other two babies were FAT. They were the size Christian is now when they were 6-8 WEEKS. And not only am I nursing the babe, I make his baby food, too (it's remarkably satisfying to make your own baby food. I recommend it) so I'm doubly responsible. This does not help my feelings of inadequacy as a mother, which grow by the day but maybe I'll get into that in another post.

. . .
Christian got his first tooth on his 6 month birthday. Happy birthday sweet baby.

. . .
Carter discovered he has a loose tooth a week ago. He was sitting next to Grandma Phillips in sacrament meeting last week and whispered to her, I wish I had a loose tooth. She told him to check to see if he did. So he stuck his fingers in his mouth and started wiggling his teeth. All of a sudden his eyes got really wide and a big grin spread across his face. So I've been feeding him apples all week in hopes to loosen that sucker up and make him a happy boy with a hole in his grin. Thankfully, we just got our family pictures taken so we've avoided at least one more year with hole-y grins.

. . .
I have really thin, really fine hair. A few months ago, I decided I should no longer splurge on my big can of Big Sexy Hair Root Pump Plus and go for something cheaper. I went with the Garnier brand which did a fine job, but when I ran out on Thursday, I decided to splurge again. Oh Boy! When I did my hair this morning I realized no more skimping for that product. It's only BSH Root Pump Plus for me.

. . .
I planted my spring bulbs. For the first time. Last spring, Marc and his dad did a little shrink job on our flower bed in front of our house because it was gigantic and overwhelmed our small front yard. I was excited to figure out what I wanted to do with it so last weekend while my in laws visited, my MIL and I went shopping for bulbs. I bought and planted A LOT of them. And today Marc and I went and found a Dwarf Alberta Spruce to put in the bed, too. I'm excited to see how it looks in the spring time.

. . .
'Tis the season for pumpkin chocolate chip bread. I bought some from Great Harvest yesterday and have single handedly finished off almost all of it in the last 24 hours.

. . .
I have felt deeply grateful for my sweet boys and husband in the past few weeks. I love that my husband is *mostly* patient and *mostly* willing to do anything I need him to do. And I love watching my boys grow and learn. They are such sweet things.

. . .
Lakers season has started. That's probably all I need to say about that.

. . .
And finally, next weekend is going to be great. Amidst much sadness on their part, yet much anticipation on mine, my sister and her family (of 4 boys) are moving 40 minutes from us. They move in next weekend and I couldn't be more excited. Really. Right after she had her first baby and when I was pregnant with mine, they moved from Provo where we both lived to Texas. I visited once. Then right as we had our first baby and moved to California, they moved to Chicago and had their second baby soon afterwards. I visited twice. And I think she visited me twice. Then we moved to Colorado and they moved to Utah and we visited a few times. But now, now we can get the cousins together as often as our busy schedules will allow and believe me, they l-o-v-e each other. After all, they are 7, 6, 5, 4, 3 and two of them are 6 months. I hope this lasts forever.

Heart

2010-09-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

as in
I heart this kid.

This kid has a lot of heart.

Tonight was the last Landsharks meet of the season. The first graders are supposed to run a 1/2 mile cross country type route and Carter did that for the first two meets. Then after his 1/2 mile at the second meet, he set his heart on running 1 1/2 miles total, so he went and ran part of another race. He felt so accomplished. And tonight, he wanted to run the 1 1/2 mile race instead of his own 1/2 mile. And that's exactly what he did. Like I said, this kid has heart. He was bursting with pride and so was I. I almost cried. (Which is easy for me to do pretty much all the time. ) Like I said, I heart this kid!

And not that time is that important but it only took him 16:19!

Solid!

2010-09-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

I was trying to hold out until Christian was officially 5 months to start solids. Marc's been pushing me to start for over a month but I'm crazy and have crazy ideas so I wanted to wait. But Christian has started to wake up in the middle of the night, has been extremely unpredictable in napping, and all together out of sorts for a few days so I bit the bullet and started a whole week early in hopes that he's just been a little hungry. I know, I know. Just call me Rebellious with a capital R. (Is that humor a little too much? Maybe. I'm not sure. Some people are so cute on their blogs. I just wanted to try to be cute for once.)

He started out by tasting his bib. Yum.

He looks a little uncertain here but he certainly was biting at the spoon with every bite.

Is it stupid to like the colorful spoons I bought for him?

He ended up eating about a 1 1/2 tablespoons of oatmeal.

One year older and wiser, too!

2010-09-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

Anderson turned four yesterday.

*cue the sniffles*

As crazy as he makes me, and he does make me crazy when he decides to be stubborn,

I want to freeze time.

As proud as he makes me with all of his growth and accomplishments,

I still want to freeze time.

And because he still has a sugary sweet, lovey dovey side to him,

(he compliments me and says he loves me many times a day, maybe even more than his daddy does.)

I want to freeze time.

I love spending time with him and I don't want the day to come when he no longer wants to spend time with me.

But since I don't possess the magic to freeze time, I'll just relish every moment and remind him everyday that he'll always be my baby. No matter what. Even when he goes away to college. Even when he gets married. Even when he has babies of his own.

*cue more sniffles*

Anderson 2 days old

Anderson at 1 year

he has loved animals since he was so little!

Anderson at 2 years

Anderson at 3 years

seriously, his eyelashes kill me!

Anderson at 4 years

nice hip pop, dude!

Window Shopping

2010-09-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing. I've been hitting the gym 3-4 times a week for the last 8 or 9 weeks. And I've really stepped it up in the last 2 or 3. I can run 5 miles! and am feeling great. The scale isn't speaking to me as fast as I'd like it to, but I'm not losing sight of how I feel and the fact that I'm well on my way to being able to do the things I used to. I'm incredibly grateful for a baby who will let me get to the gym as often as I'd like. Another incredible blessing.

As Anderson has started preschool for 2 1/2 hours in the afternoon 3 times a week and Carter is gone all day everyday, I found myself at the mall this afternoon, making a few exchanges. I thought I'd hit up my favorite store to see what's new. I couldn't find anything this past June when I was desperate for a few things, but now. . .now there's a slew of things I'd love. I didn't have the time to try things on (and maybe wasn't brave enough to risk disappointment) so I don't even know if these things would fit right, (and curse nursing bras that don't really fit me which only add to that problem!) but they are certainly cute, aren't they:

Now it would be really nice if I could get my hands on $400!
(and that would only cover the stuff I want! not all the cute little and big boy stuff they have at Old Navy and The Children's Place. *sigh* if only money grew on trees.)

Things You Should Know About Christian--4 Month Edition

2010-09-03T19:22:00.001-07:00

I'm really struggling to figure out how this little man:

a few hours after birth

one day old

one month old

two months old

three months old

has grown into this little man:

about 4 months

4 Things you should know about Christian at 4 months:

1. He is an absolute dream. There's no other word to describe him.

2. He sleeps 12 hours at night. (See #1!)

3. He rolls from his tummy to his back. A few nights in the last month he's woken up crying multiple times in the night because he's rolled over to his back and can't get back to sleep because he's not on his tummy.

4. He's teeny tiny: only 13 lbs. 2 oz. and 24 inches long today. (My other two were that big at 2 months--it's sort of refreshing to have just put away the 0-3 month clothing. While 0-3 size was just a bit too snug, the 3-6 month clothing is a smidge too big.) He's between the 10 and 25 percentile for height and weight.

And because I just couldn't resist--his sweet little toes.

(It's Almost) September Morn

2010-08-31T03:19:00.001-07:00

There's only one more day one more day one more day. That's the chant that's running in my head now. There's only one more day one more day one more day.

August is almost over and thank heavens for that. September has got to be a better month than August. It just has to. I was telling a friend yesterday a brief rundown of August. It may have sounded like I was complaining. I really wasn't. I just cannot believe how badly the month has gone. And again, as I type, my middle child is at the ER with his daddy. He came down with croup the other night, has been on meds for 2 days but again woke up at 3:43 am gasping and wheezing, desperate for air. He cried for a blessing. Then medicine. And after 15 minutes, through his tears and fear he begged for the doctor. So off they went to the ER. I heard the urgency in the way Marc pulled out of the driveway. Croup usually doesn't scare me, but I guess we haven't had it quite this bad before. So I'm off to lay in bed, wait for a phone call and an update, and continue chanting: there's only one more day one more day one more day.

Update: Anderson was admitted into the hospital. He's feeling better but they want to watch him for a bit. Hopefully he'll be home soon.

Update #2: He's staying the night for observation. Apparently he was given the wrong dosage of meds by the urgent care dr. we saw on Sunday so they want him under observation with the right meds. Cross your fingers for an uneventful night and a discharge early in the morning!

The Incline. . .

2010-08-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

The incline is one intense hike and I've been aching to do it this summer so I don't feel so bogged down by the babe and my baby weight. When Marc promised the boys we'd take a family hike this weekend, my mind started turning--I've heard that a few of my friends with relatively young children and babies have taken their families up it recently so I wondered-- if I got my hands on a backpack, would my dear husband humor me and give the old cog rail a try? He looked at me like I might be nuts, but I told him, if the Conlins, the Egberts, and the Hansen's can do it, why can't we? So yesterday, we woke up, got the boys fed and in the car and drove down to Manitou to attempt the crazy.

It was a busy day on the mountain and we couldn't find parking so I started up with the kids while Marc drove down into town to park the car:

Marc finally caught up with us so he took Christian and Anderson and I kept the slightly faster pace with Carter: (Those are our backsides, the first hikers in the picture. The top of the mountain is really not the top--it's the false summit)

Carter and I waited for the others at the "half way point" that's really more than half way but it's where those who decide it's just a little too tough of a hike can cut over to Barr trail and hike down. I nursed Christian on a rock and then our party split. Marc and the two younger boys hiked down.

Marc said Christian was an angel. Of course he was, he's the perfect baby:

Carter and I went to the top:

He was pleased with himself, even if he cried just moments from the top because he was hot and tired. But the worst was yet to come--Carter and I slipped and slid all 4 miles down Barr Trail. It wasn't without multiple falls on both parts and some tears on Carter's. I wanted to curl up in a corner when we finally reached the bottom--the stress was just too much for me. But we made it and we're not too much worse for the wear. When Grandma asked if we would do it again next month Carter said no way. But maybe next year!

I'm so proud of Carter. He may have cried a little but he didn't whine and this hike was a tough one to say the least.

The first of many

2010-08-26T15:05:00.000-07:00

haircuts, that is.

Just like his brother Anderson, Christian needed a little trim before he turned 4 months.

As documented by Carter:

Before:

Do you love how this picture foreshadows his teenage years:

After:

These are only 9 of the 42 pictures Carter took.

And Christian has a different expression in all. 42. shots!

First Grade. . .

2010-08-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

. . .is going to be absolutely great.

I just love the first picture of Carter. I told him to stand for a picture and he unabashedly jumped for joy yelling FIRST GRADE as I snapped the shot.

Odds and Ends

2010-08-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry about that last post. Anderson's trip to the ER was just the last straw. I had to get it out. Things turned out okay--They came home with two x-ray pictures of Anderson's stomach with a great big coin in it. Now we're just waiting and watching for it to come out if you know what I mean. And I'm trying not to think about the ER bill that is coming our way.

. . .

I love these boys, my sisters boys and my own, minus the babies:

Her house in Utah needs to sell ASAP so they can move closer to me and I can see them more.

. . .

Here's Anderson just moments before he fell and broke his wrist--he was climbing up the ladder to the diving board (not the platform) in the back of the picture.

Here's what we were doing when Anderson fell from the ladder: taking a picture of Carter going off the smaller diving board. I feel great about that, let me tell you.

. . .

I'm looking at my September calendar. It's already completely full. Among other things, we have a doctor's appointment 4 out of the 5 weeks, Marc starts football coverage, Carter has Landsharks twice a week and soccer once a week, Anderson has soccer once a week, and I'm hoping to take a swim class at the Y (anyone want to join me?) twice a week. The month is going to FLY and then it's October. Then November. Then December?!?! Where did 2010 go?

. . .

Did I mention we almost hit a moose on our vacation? This moose jumped in front of our car. Marc jumped out of the car, took some pictures, then remember that a moose will charge so he ran back to the safety? of our van.

. . .

This is my life:

Yep, that's a He-man guy hanging from my blinds. Incidentally, that's probably a scene Marc's mom saw 25 years or so ago when he and his older brother played with this exact same toy and all the other ones my boys have now inherited.

. . .

I said sianara to Facebook. FYI.

Catastrophe

2010-08-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

On August 3rd, our house got struck by lightening. We were vacationing in Idaho so we came home to a fried modem and computer mother board, a fried furnace mother board, a fried satellite dish, a fried garage door opener.

Also, while on vacation in Idaho, Anderson fell from a diving board ladder. He broke his wrist.

Our refrigerator has been leaking water once a day since Friday. Just when Marc found time to look into the problem tonight, Anderson decided to swallow one of those new commemorative gold dollar coins. He is now in the ER waiting room with Marc.

I'm so overwhelmed I actually just feel numb.

D-day

2010-07-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

Oh, the D-readed day has arrived! I've turned into my mother. (No offense mom--read on!)

It was Halloween 1988. I guess it could have been 1987 or maybe 1986 but it was Halloween. I know that for sure. A Halloween when we lived in our blue house on Ogontz Street. I was an elementary school-er and the magic of the holiday gave me butterflies. Isn't the magic of Halloween nearly the same as that of Christmas for an 8 year old? I think so.

That was back in the day when your mom picked you up from school, took you home, you scarfed down your lunch and dressed in a frenzy and then your mom hurried you back to school for an afternoon of celebrating. Oh, how I miss those days! I wish the schools celebrated Halloween the same way now.

It seemed that the clock ticked ever so slowly from the time I hopped off the bus to the time we could go trick-or-treating and get all that CANDY! This particular Halloween was no different. And horror struck when dinner was served just a little while before it was time to hit the street running. I am not and have never been a picky eater but growing up there were two dishes that my mom made that simply turned my stomach: tamales and what I now call zucchini marinara. My mom served zucchini marinara that evening. I sat in front of my plate and whined and complained and whined some more. But I knew I wouldn't be going out that night unless I ate my dinner so I choked it down. Bleh. I have since vowed to never serve my kids something they hate before something as special as trick-or-treating. (I'm hoping to stick to that vow!) Wait. . .if I'm thinking really hard, tamales might have been what I gagged down that night, but I digress.

Fast forward 20 + years. We were invited to dinner a few months ago--back when I was pregnant and close to my due date. My friend served zucchini marinara. She served it over noodles. And I stuffed myself silly. It was so yummy! I just remembered this dish last week and have made it twice now. My poor boys. Though, Marc and Anderson gobbled it up so maybe it's not such a sad story for them. It's whats for dinner tonight, too. Served with Crispy Parmesan Chicken.

Zucchini Marinara

2 medium zucchini, sliced into 1/4 " circles
1/2 jar of Prego
salt and pepper
4 oz. mozzarella cheese

Layer zucchini at the bottom of a casserole dish. Season with salt and pepper. Pour sauce over the zucchini then sprinkle with cheese. Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes until zucchini is fork tender but still has a small bite. Serve over cooked pasta--I like angel hair.

This Is What 30 Looks Like:

2010-07-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

Make a wish!

Today is my birthday. It's a big one, too. 30. I never thought I would have issues turning 30. Mostly because when I was 19 I hung around boys who liked to call me fetus and thought I was so young even though I was only 2 years younger than they were. I quickly developed an age complex and have had one ever since. So 30 seemed like I might actually be legit, you know? Until this last week. Thirty began sounding so old and I was feeling sorry for myself. But last night my sensible husband reminded me that I shouldn't wallow. (I wasn't wallowing too much, I promise, not like my latest blog posts at least!) Instead I should think of all the great things I've done in the last decade. So last night I fell asleep thinking of all of those things and I woke up this morning feeling great:

2001: I spent 5 months in China. Amazing!

2002: Married my handsome husband. Best decision I've ever made!

2003: Graduated from BYU with a BA in English Teaching and got my first (and only thus far) real job teaching 9th grade English at American Fork Jr. High. Learned a lot of great things!

2004: Gave birth to 1st son. Priceless.

2005: Ran my 1st marathon. Proved to myself that I can push my body hard.

2006: Gave birth to 2nd son. Priceless.

2008: Bought our first house. Ran my 2nd marathon.

2010: Gave birth to 3rd son. Priceless.

And those are just the biggies--so many moments and memories in between that glue the last 10 years--the first 10 of my adult life--together. I loved my 20s and am looking forward to loving my 30s. I'm a lucky girl and can't forget it.

Things You Should Know About Christian--2 Month Edition

2010-07-18T19:18:00.001-07:00

First things first, let's play a game. Which picture is Christian? Which picture is Anderson?

Update: WOW! You guys are good--Anderson is on top. Christian is on bottom. Sorry, Sarah! Based on what I have told people, you made a pretty good guess. My fault--I should not rely on my memory when comparing my babies!! Pictures tell a different story.

I've been thinking all along that Christian looks exactly like Carter did when he was a baby but when I saw this picture I knew exactly which picture I had of Anderson that looked identical and I remember exactly what we were doing when I took it--Marc and Carter were on an overnighter to his parents' house in Santa Maria and Anderson and I were having some baby/mama time in SoCal. Oh, how I miss those days.

Did you guess? I'll let you know in a few days, just 'cuz I want to see who guesses right!

It's hard to believe the babe is 2 1/2 months old already. It seems like Christian has been part of our family forever and all the while I feel like the last 2 months have gone by in a blink of an eye.

Two things you should know about Christian at 2 months:

1. He is destined to be a thumb sucker. He still has a hard time finding it if he's on his back but if he's on his tummy it goes right in.

2. He's been sleeping through the night for 5 weeks. Not only do I consider Christian to be the best baby on the planet, I'm probably the luckiest mom on the planet, too!

At his 2 month appointment he was 11 pounds 10 ounces and 23 inches long. A whole 3 pounds lighter than Anderson was at that age. He's my teeny guy whose actually quite average.

Yesterday. . .

2010-07-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

when I caught a glimpse of the shirt Marc will wear on his annual trek up Pikes Peak with his co workers this weekend. . .(his boss has shirts made for all the hikers. . .and it's more about the hike than about the shirt but the shirt sparked the emotion)

when I couldn't do anything to console my babe after he got his 2 month immunizations. . .

when I watched Marc open and power up his new Blackberry. . . (a perk for being a partner, I suppose)

when on a whim I tried the skirt on that I wore on the day we blessed Anderson and it didn't fit. . .(Anderson was the same age on that day as Christian is now)

the sacrifices seemed too great, the burdens too heavy. So I went to bed early hoping I'd feel better this morning. I didn't.

So today. . .

I threw myself into my work. Among all the smaller, organizational things I did, I:

-washed/dried 7 loads of laundry
-cleaned 3 bathrooms
-vacuumed 1/2 of my house
-prepared 3 healthful meals (plus the 6 I fed Christian)
-sewed 2 buttons on pillow covers
-read 3 books to the boys

I'm still feeling gloomy but hopefully tomorrow with another list of things accomplished I'll be feeling better.

Note to self. . .

2010-07-03T16:01:00.001-07:00

I rarely leave the house without Christian. I just don't. And when I do, it feels strange, like I have a missing limb or something. But today, I was without Christian, ever so briefly. And a stranger assumed I was pregnant. Note to self--never leave the house without Christian again. At least not until my baby weight is gone.

Quote of the Day

2010-07-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

This morning I spent a few precious minutes snuggled in bed with all three of my boys. Christian had just eaten and Carter, Anderson and I were enjoying his sweet coos and smiles. (The thought of this makes my heart warm and fuzzy as I write about it now because unfortunately the rest of the day hasn't been quite so sweet.) As we lay there, Carter pressed his nose against Christian's and said, We are so lucky to have you, sweet baby. I couldn't agree more, Carter. I couldn't agree more! And while I can't be sure because I couldn't see--I'm certain that Christian gave his big brother a big open mouthed grin.

BUSTED!

2010-06-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Because we still can't get Anderson to stop sucking his thumb and he's nearly 4, we were forcing a binki on this babe. He apparently has other plans.

it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad. . .

2010-06-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

idea to lay in bed for 9 months and watch reruns of NCIS and Medium and anything else I could find that looked interesting instead of making my daily trip to the gym. I'm paying for it now and it's tough. Last week I got my new running shoes in the mail and got the official ok from the doctor to begin my old exercise routines. The problem is, my old exercise routine was running. Running a lot. I knew I'd have to get back into it slowly or my body would pay. I decided on a run walk program--Run 3 minutes, walk 2, for a total of 30 minutes, 3 times a week. Seems easy right? WRONG! The first time I went my pelvis hurt. The second and third times I went it was my back. Now it's my knees. I'm discouraged--I used to be a good runner--I wasn't fast but I had endurance on my side. Now, not so much. How much slower can I go? On the bright side, at least Marc's a physical therapist and can help me through the physical pain. Now, if I could just stop letting my physical incapability get to me mentally. . .

i'm so glad when daddy comes home, glad as I can be. . .

2010-06-20T18:05:00.000-07:00

Since Marc just got home yesterday from a week away from us, and it is true, we are SO glad when Daddy comes home, today felt like the perfect day to celebrate just how important he is to me and to our boys. As I was making dinner preparations with Anderson this morning, I was singing him an old Primary song and the words got me all choked up because there aren't many true-er words in our household:

My daddy is my favorite pal and I help him everyday.

It's plain to see I want to be like him in every way.

He teaches me that honesty is best in all I do.

I'm very glad that he's my dad, and I know he loves me too.

Back in December when I found out our third child was a boy, after the initial 48 hours of devastation, I realized that though Marc would be a great father to any child that was sent to us, we have boys because Marc is the kind of dad who will raise good, if not great, boys. He will teach them ALL of the things they need to know to be good men because his dad (and mom) did the same for him and I am just so grateful. As cliche as it sounds, I simply could not ask for a better person to spend eternity with.

So, here's how we celebrated:

Star Wars pancakes for breakfast,

catching up on games 6 and 7 of the NBA finals,

Marc was unfortunately camping and out of touch for the last two games and their big WIN!

and mock Cafe Rio chicken burritos for dinner.

Marc, we sure hope you feel special today because we love you so much!

Mom Jewelry

2010-06-19T12:31:00.001-07:00

Teenie Tiny Initials

by Lisa Leonard

Paper Lantern

by Lisa Leondard
Open Circle
by Lisa Leonard
Dainty Drops
by Vintage Pearl

Triple Name
by Julie the Fish
(I guess this is the same as Dainty Drops!)

Capped Birthstone

by Julie the Fish

My 30th *gasp* birthday is right around the corner. I've been wanting some mom jewelry for awhile now and since our family is complete *I hope,* one of these lovelies is sure to make my wish list. But I'm torn--I want all of them. Which one would you order if you could?

Hello, lover!

2010-06-11T10:01:00.001-07:00

My love affair with the treadmill began a long time ago when Marc's work schedule stopped allowing me to run outside and I couldn't fathom pushing my two boys in a double jogger on the hills in Colorado Springs. I really do love the treadmill--I feel strong and powerful after a good run. I will continue this affair sometime next week when I get my new Adidas Salvations in the mail, providing my children will behave at childwatch--Christian in particular. I can't wait!

(please excuse the Sex in the City reference--it's the only thing I know from the show and even though I'm sure Carrie Bradshaw was staring down a pair of Manolo Blahniks, I'm more in love with my running shoes.)

One year older and wiser, too!

2010-06-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe I have a 6 year old but indeed I do. Carter turned 6 a few weeks ago and though I told him I couldn't plan a cool party like I did when he turned 4 (a construction themed party) and 5 (a camping themed party) I think he felt pretty special this year anyway. We celebrated with dinner at Texas Roadhouse, his choice, with both sets of grandparents which I truly believe was his favorite part--the grandparents I mean. He had a fabulous homemade chocolate Astroboy cake. I brought superhero cupcakes to school for his friends and classmates. We ate lunch at McDonald's with a friend from school. And he opened lots of really great gifts. I have to catch myself when I've been asked how old my kids are recently--I keep saying he's 5 and he'll have none of that. He is 6 and proud of it.

Now lets take a trip down memory lane:

Carter at birth

Carter at 1 year

Carter at 2 years

Carter at 3 years

Carter at 4 years

Carter at 5 years

One month

2010-06-08T16:18:00.000-07:00

Christian is already one month old!

He's a growing boy at 9 lbs. 10 oz. and a good baby by all accounts.

It's still an adjustment to have a new born so as crazy as it sounds, I started sleep training today.

I'm hoping that the Babywise program does as it promises and has him sleeping through the night in a few weeks so that Marc and I can both get a little more much needed sleep.

Sadly, the babe broke out with baby acne this last weekend--I just hate the baby acne phase but hopefully it'll pass quickly and he'll get back to his cute self.

Here he is salivating over a piece of The Cheesecake Factory's Red Velvet Cheesecake!

YUM!

My day old child

2010-06-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

My day old child lay in my arms,
with my lips against his ear.
I whispered strongly, "How I wish,
I wish that you could hear,

"I've a hundred wonderful things to say
(A tiny cough and a nod)
Hurry, hurry, hurry and grow
so I can tell you about God."

My day old baby's mouth was still
and my words only tickled his ear,
but a kind of light passed through his eyes,
and I saw this thought appear,

"How I wish I had a voice and words,
I've a hundred things to say,
Before I forget, I'd tell you of God,
I left Him yesterday."

Author Carol Lynn Pearson

Photos by my talented friend Joyana

Debut

2010-05-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

Christian joined our family on May 3 at 8:19 am.

He weighs 7 lbs. 11 oz.

He is 20 1/2 inches long.

THE STORY:
May 2
9:00 pm: arrive at the hospital to be induced

May 3
12:00ish am: dilated to a 3; Dr. decides to fore go induction drugs and "strip the heck out of my membranes." (his words--not mine!)
5:00ish am: dilated to a 4 1/2; Dr. breaks water
6:30ish am: dilated to a 5 1/2
7:50 am: dilated to an 8
8:19 am: after pushing for 3 minutes, Christian made his debut

My labor was overseen by the doctor on call but my doctor was able to deliver. Delivering Christian was literally the first thing my doctor did after his return from surgery.

bath time

Anderson is a smitten older brother

Christian is wearing the hat I knitted for him--it's WAY too big!

ready to come home

all of my boys

Marc has already taken the look of a dad with a newborn--look at those tired eyes.

Carter is also a proud big brother!

New Territory

2010-04-27T17:14:00.000-07:00

Just like every child looks a little or a lot different, every birth story is different, too. Those are the two things on my mind right now: What is this birth story going to be? What will this little guy look like? And so, since I'm still sitting around waiting, here's how things have played out in the past:

Carter

Due date: May 24, 2004

Friday May 21: last scheduled doctor's appointment--not dilated, not effaced.

Sunday May 23:

noon--back labor begins

11:00 pm--go to the hospital; dilated 1 cm, effaced 75 % not progressing; sent home with a morphine shot.

Monday May 24:

noon--morphine shot wears off

8:00 pm--head to the hospital again, check in.

Tuesday May 25:

3:00 am--Carter is born

Anderson

Due date: September 16, 2006

Tuesday September 12: last scheduled doctors appointment--not dilated, not effaced

Wednesday September 13:

am: mild labor cramping begins

3:00 pm: regular contractions begin

11:00 pm: arrive at the hospital, check in.

Thursday September 14:

3:00 am: Anderson is born

Baby Boy #3

This time around things are a little different. As I mentioned in my last pregnancy post, my due date seems up in the air to me, but the doctor is confident it was yesterday. If you care to check the details above, yes, I am in uncharted waters. I've never been late before so when I went to my doctor's appointment yesterday I was discouraged. But when the NP checked me that all changed.

NP: You're dilated to a 1 and I stripped your membranes and Diana, his head is LOW!
Me: You're kidding! I've never had that happen before!

I left the doctor with energy to get this baby coming. I went home and mopped my floors on my hands and knees for 1 1/2 hours. I went to Carter's Landsharks track meet which required quite a bit of walking. I was in a lot of pain for about 5 hours. I fell asleep at 10:00 last night and woke up this morning to nothing. Marc went to work like it was a normal day. I got Carter off to school like it was a normal day. And guess what, it was a normal day and I'm back to feeling discouraged, impatient and hopeless. I'm tired of waiting. This little boy inside of me is definitely biding his time.

Quote of the Day

2010-04-25T15:58:00.001-07:00

We haven't had a quote of the day for quite sometime. Maybe it's because the boys have for the most part outgrown cute little sayings and traded them in for big boy talk which involves shooting, killing, taunting and other such nonsense, but it's more likely because I don't have much of a sense of humor lately. Unfortunately, this big boy talk is also accompanied by a fair amount of potty talk. We've been trying to get the boys to understand what potty talk is and that it is inappropriate and it's helping but the occasional discussion of poop or puke or parts (or farts for that matter) does come up. Today, while I was making dinner and the boys were playing legos on the stairs, I heard them talking about boogers. Ah, ah, ah, guys. That's potty talk. I said. Anderson responds: No, it's tissue talk. Who knew a 3 year old was capable of such logic?

I may not be in the mood to laugh lately, but I just can't help it when I see this picture. My poor boys have such big heads swim goggles are not terribly easy to put on.

39 weeks and going nowhere

2010-04-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

Today I am 39 weeks pregnant. Or so the Dr. says. I'm a bit skeptical since I know my dates and originally thought my due date was May 3 but when I was 9 weeks I freaked out, thought I was miscarrying and went in for an ultrasound to find the baby had a healthy heartbeat and was measuring 10 weeks instead. Hence, a new due date: April 26th--next Monday. So today I am 39 weeks pregnant and I had my last scheduled doctors appointment before my due date.

It's always an appointment that makes me cry because while some women walk around for weeks dilating and effacing knowing their body is a ticking time bomb, my body doesn't do anything. Not a thing until I'm actually in labor and then I go 0-10 in a day or so. I know my body does this--this is the third time. But I was hopeful anyway as I went to my appointment today. And I was discouraged and hopeless, same as the other two times, when I walked out--when I hear that I'm still going nowhere I feel like I might be the first woman to be pregnant forever.

I've heard that I should just be induced by so many women I can't even count. But I've never had a doctor offer that as an option for me, (even when I cry and act desperate at my 39 week appointment)--since my cervix doesn't make any advanced progress induction increases my risk for a c-section. Last week my doctor thought it might be an option; today he didn't because my cervix was in the exact state I told him it would be in--closed tight. It's okay, I don't really want to be induced anyway but I do get tired of hearing that I should just get induced and getting looks of doubt when I say I can't. I'm not crazy, my doctors (all three different ones) really don't think it's a good idea for me.

My discouragement is multiplied by the fact that my doctor is leaving for Houston to have middle ear surgery on Sunday, the day before my due date and he'll be out for a whole week--until May 3rd, my original due date to be exact. Because I'm not showing any signs of progress we made a plan, one that I'm not sure I can live with: if I haven't had the baby by next Monday, I have an appointment to see one of his partners. If I don't go into labor by myself before he gets back from his surgery he'll induce me on May 3rd or 4th. That's 2 weeks from today-- in other words, an eternity.

On top of all of that, I am getting pressure from different directions to have this baby sooner-- a lot sooner. I have a sister in town until Wednesday so she and my mom REALLY want me to have the baby before then. Marc wants me to have the baby on Saturday. Anderson says many times a day he wants the baby NOW. And I am powerless to oblige any party, really, though I tend to side with Anderson. Now would be nice.

The glimmer of hope only comes when I remind myself I've never been late before, but what if my original due date is really the right one and I really do have 2 more weeks left? *sob.* I just can't bear to think about that.

And for curious eyes, here are my progression shots:

12 weeks

17 weeks

26 weeks

39 weeks

The cheesy grin is caused by Anderson who right as Marc was taking the picture was wandering around with his green blanket over his head and ran right into the bottom stair and wobbled a bit before taking his blanket off to see what he'd run into. Quite like a scene I remember from E.T. Funny boy.

And may I be terribly blunt and beg you not to say "hang in there." That and "at least it's not the middle of summer" are two of the most annoying phrases I've been hearing lately! Thank you, friends.

some things never change

2010-04-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

I asked Carter who he played with at recess today. He played with Anna and Ian--Anna was chasing him and Ian and they were running away from her. I guess I was playing girls chase boys on the playground at this age, too--25 years ago. It's nice to know some things like playground games don't change too much even in a quarter of a century. (Yikes, I don't like the way that sounds!) And who can blame cute little Anna? (same girl he kissed way back in September) If I were 5, I'd be chasing him on the playground, too.

Lady Killers

2010-04-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

Look at these eyes. I seriously cannot get over them!

Right now they are mama killers. Soon they will be lady killers.

Anderson 6 1/2 months old

Waiting

2010-04-13T19:03:00.000-07:00

Okay Mr. Frog--we're ready and waiting to replace you with our real baby.

Any time now.
The crib is up.
The clothes and blankets are washed.
The car seat has been strapped in by a professional so he will be the safest of our 3 children.
The cleaning is done.
The freezer is almost stocked.
I didn't quite get to knitting his hat, but hope to by the end of the week.
Now, we're just waiting.
Impatiently.

You should have heard the boys giggle when I buckled Mr. Frog in. It was music.

P.S. Mr. Frog: I sure hope our baby is smaller than you when he's born.

I'm dying. . .

2010-03-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

literally dying to be doing a little bit of this today.

Instead, I'm having a bit of a pity party because I can't.

Boo hoo. Sniff sniff.

And while I'm at it, let me tell you I'm also dying to:

sleep on my stomach,

sleep on my back,

wear my favorite pair of jeans with a regular t-shirt,

and feel like myself again.

Zuppa Toscana Soup

2010-03-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

I made this soup for dinner tonight and served it with a loaf of french bread. When we sat down to eat just a few minutes ago, I fully expected the boys to turn up their noses. They tend to be a bit skeptical of just about anything unless it's typical kid food, though in the past year we've made major strides in expanding their food repertoire. They did finish their bread and juice first, but when I told them they absolutely had to try to the soup they did--after I obliged them in helping them eat it since soup is a bit drippy. Both boys finished their bowls (including the kale!) and I even heard this from Carter: I'm so proud of you, mom! This cook is AWESOME! Those were his exact words--I imagine he meant that I'm an awesome cook. Ahh, that made making dinner worth it.

Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana Soup

1 lb. spicy Italian sausage - crumbled
1/2 lb. smoked bacon - chopped
1 qt. water
(2) 14.5 oz. cans (about 3 2/3 cups) chicken broth
2 lg. russet potatoes - scrubbed clean, thinly sliced
2 garlic cloves - peeled, minced
1 med. onion - peeled, chopped
2 cups chopped kale or Swiss chard
1 cup heavy whipping cream
salt and pepper - to taste

-In a skillet over medium-high heat, brown sausage, breaking into small pieces as you fry it; drain, set aside.
-In a skillet over medium-high heat, brown bacon; drain, set aside.
-Place water, broth, potatoes, garlic, and onion in a pot; simmer over medium heat until potatoes are tender.
-Add sausage and bacon to pot; simmer for 10 minutes.
-Add kale and cream to pot; season with salt and pepper; heat through.

Odds and Ends

2010-02-28T00:28:00.001-08:00

I have officially entered the miserable last weeks of pregnancy. Which is the reason I'm blogging at 1:30 am. I can't sleep. I can't breath. I waddle. My clothes don't fit. And I'm just praying I can make it through the 8 or 9 weeks I have left. I had an ultrasound and doctor's appointment this week to follow up on baby's enlarged kidneys and good news, they are no longer enlarged. In more good news, he's still a he. I had a dream a few days before the ultrasound that the baby was a girl and while a few months ago that's what I had hoped for, I think I would have been a little overwhelmed if they would have said, oops on Thursday! And more good news, his head is down, unless he flipped this evening which wouldn't surprise me considering his acrobatic performance.

...

Anderson had some surgery done 12 days ago. Tonsils and adenoids removed and a urological procedure done. He's recovering quite well except when you consider his mood swings seem more typical of a 12 year old girl. I know his throat is still sore multiple times a day so I try to be as patient as possible but the worrier in me worries that his personality is irreversibly altered. Please, dear Anderson, come back!

...

Marc has a big test coming up. He's known about it for quite a while but time has eluded him and he's cramming. As a reminder to himself to study he's been growing a beard for over a week. I'm not a big fan--it just makes him look more tired than he already is. Apparently, he wasn't too fond of it either, the itch factor to be specific, so today he shaved. Yea!

I want, I want, I want!

2010-02-22T14:45:00.000-08:00

My nesting phase usually entails wanting to re-decorate. Or this time around, just simply decorate. This is our first house. Previously, we'd been in apartments smaller than half the size of our house now, so decorating is a room by room, piece by piece, LONG process. Since the nursery is mostly cleared out now, (yea! that was certainly a task since 2 weeks ago there wasn't even a walk way in there!) I can look at other areas of my house so I spent some time flipping through my latest Pottery Barn magazine this afternoon. Sometimes I find lots of great stuff. Sometimes I don't. Unfortunately for me, today was one of those days when I found too many things that I really really want:

I'm pretty sure this rug would be perfect for my living room. If I beg, I might, MIGHT be able to swing this one. Though it is the most expensive of the lot, finding a good rug is next to impossible.

Love these keys. I've been eyeing them for months. I'd hang them right above this:

I only want one of these squares. I'd hang it vertically on the small wall in my garage entry way to catch reminders and stuff. I'm sure it would become very useful as my boys grow up and our lives get more complicated.

I love this sign. I'd put it on the wall above my bay window in my kitchen/dining area.

My un-crafty self might even be able to duplicate this--at least I'm going to try!

Aren't these bookends fantastic?

*SIGH*

Do you have running list of wants like I do?

Celebrating Love & Friendship

2010-02-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

A long time ago I created this blog to help me keep in touch with those people I hold dear. And so, on this weekend that most believe is nothing more than a retail holiday I share these lyrics--my valentine from me to you:

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...

Because I knew you...

Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Odds and Ends

2010-02-09T11:20:00.001-08:00

In case you're wondering, I decided to try Palmer's Cocoa Butter Maternity products. I got the Tummy Butter and the Massage Cream from Motherhood. The smell factor and grease factor are much better than what I was using before. I'm not one of those women who come away with absolutely no stretch marks. My 5 foot something frame is not really built to carry 9 pound babies but it does so I just do my best to keep those pesky marks at bay. And I HATE Motherhood so the only thing I'll buy there is belly cream. The sales ladies are too pushy and I HATE pushy salespeople.

--

I need to go grocery shopping. Badly. But I don't want to. I'm going to try something new today though--help Carter write out my grocery list. I know it will be easier to do it myself but I'm not so good at getting around to doing his homework with him (don't worry-he doesn't have to turn it in) so I look for other things to do to help him learn the basics.

--

My friend is helping me refresh my knitting skills so I can knit the baby a hat. After that I'm going to knit all three of my boys matching hats for next winter. I'm so excited.

--

I'm in severe nesting mode but lack the energy to really get to work. I get a little done here and a little done there. I have an ongoing list of things I want to clean and organize and things I need to get done in the next 11 weeks. The list of things to do is much longer than the list of things I've done. I do have a timeline in my head though:

February--Get the nursery set up and functional. You have no idea how large a task this is, unless of course you are one of the few people that has seen it. Lots of organization and rearranging of other areas and cupboards in the house is required for this to come together. Oh, and a little crafting.

March--knit the baby a hat and begin the spring cleaning process. This includes but is not limited to cleaning windows, light switches and fixtures, and baseboards.

April--finish the spring cleaning process and get some dinners in the freezer.

I'm a little tired just thinking about it.

--

We still don't have a clue what to name this darling baby boy I'm growing. Marc says it'd be a lot easier if I would just agree to name him what he wants to name him but I just can't. So the search is still on for the perfect name. The problem is we aren't the type of people to just pick a name we really like. There are plenty of names that I like. But I feel like my babies already have names and it's just Marc's and my job to discover that name before he's born. And we only have 11 more weeks to figure this out! Which brings me to yesterday--I was chatting with a friend and she mentioned her baby boy's middle name and a light bulb went off. Awesome. Not a moment later I realized that this name + Phillips is the name of a 80s-90s music group. Blast. And we're back to square one.

--

We ended up having to buy a new computer last weekend. I hate getting a new computer up and running--reorganizing files etc. Blah.

--

One of Marc's front desk ladies gave me her recipe for snickerdoodles. I'm addicted.

--

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my sweet boys? Anderson has been really kissy lately--he'll randomly find me, smile at me, grab my face or my belly and give me a tender kiss. And Carter is always quick to notice if I've put jewelry on, changed my make-up, or curled my hair and lets me know that I look beautiful. They make me smile.

--
I just re-read my post. Did I use the word HATE too much?

Searching for

2010-01-22T12:58:00.000-08:00

a good belly/stretch mark preventative cream. I've used a different kind with each pregnancy but I don't love the one I've been using--it's the Burt's Bees brand. I can't remember the ones I used in the past with my other pregnancies. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

2010-01-15T06:30:00.000-08:00

I have the worst cold in history. I'm stocked up with Airbourne, Cold eeze, Sudafed, Puffs with lotion, (but with the amount of tissues I've used, the lotion isn't really preventing the chapped red nose I was hoping to avoid) Vicks, and chapstick. I didn't sleep much last night and have to be up and at 'em this morning getting a kindergartner off to school and going to a doctor's appointment for Anderson. But after that, I'm going back to bed. But I have to smile because I found a love note from my sweet Carter at 4:00 this morning when I decided staying in bed was a waste and crawled under a blanket on the couch: I luv yo kus yo luv me kus I am yr sun. fum carter. My nose might be a faucet, my eyes might be swollen and red but my heart is warm and fuzzy.

Number Three

2009-12-18T16:08:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, I posted this and meant it with all of my heart.

But on Wednesday when the ultrasound tech said, well guys, it's not a girl, the flood gates opened. Trust me, it wasn't pretty. I'm embarrassed to admit this but hey, I'm nothing if not completely real so I'll say it anyway. I cried for 2 days and went through all 5 stages of grief.

This morning I woke up ashamed. Completely ashamed. And excited. Utterly excited. Because if Marc and I can do one thing right, we can certainly make cute boys.

I'm thrilled that in 4 1/2 months another little boy is joining these guys:

And these guys are so excited because they're naming him Master Splinter. HA.

Just so you know. . .

2009-12-12T07:19:00.000-08:00

This is where I'm headed.

About a month ago, one of my very kind friends said to me,

Oh, you're one of those cute pregnant women. Look how little you are.

It was a compliment for sure, but here's the thing, I was just starting my second trimester a month ago. So I smiled and said,

Oh, you just wait. I'm not tiny at all.

So for your viewing enjoyment and just so you know, this is where I'm headed:

please ignore my puffy face and my ugly half smile. this is my only belly shot from my entire pregnancy!

May 2004.

One week before Carter was born.

In our basement apartment in Provo.

Wearing one of three shirts that fit.

Unhappily posing for the camera.

please ignore my half closed eyes. this is my only belly shot from the night.

September 2006.

Eight hours before Anderson was born.

Laboring at home in our student housing apartment in Northridge.

Wearing one of those same three shirts that fit in May of 2004.

Smiling between contractions while my two year old rubbed my shoulders.

Proof positive that I'm not one of those cute, little pregnant women. This is where I'm headed folks.

Odds and Ends

2009-12-09T10:00:00.001-08:00

One more week until my 20 week ultrasound. I will actually be 21 weeks. I'm beginning to have a little anxiety about it. I want a HEALTHY baby and I've started to worry. And I think I told a little fib a few weeks ago when I said I don't care if it's a boy or a girl. Don't misunderstand me--I will absolutely love a boy with all my heart, but this pregnancy has been a bit difficult for me and I do not plan on doing this again so I still say silent pleading prayers that Heavenly Father will let me have a daughter. However, I will accept his plan for my family so if we have another boy, so be it. I will be one of those moms of boys, and I know plenty that I look up to so that will be fine.

On Monday night I was telling Marc I was beginning to get worried that I hadn't been feeling the baby move all too often. But when I laid down to go to bed that night, he or she got their groove on and hasn't really stopped moving since. It's fine with me--this is the most magical part of pregnancy anyway. Though I've already forgotten how it feels to have a non growing, non moving stomach.

One pregnancy symptom stands out more than others with each pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Carter it was sickness--not necessarily morning sickness because I only threw up once or twice and both times at night--but all the other sicknesses that I had: I literally lost my entire voice twice. I had constant congestion. I had a kidney infection, a bladder infection, a sinus infection, and a yeast infection--all at different times, thank goodness. It was definitely not a pleasant pregnancy. During Anderson's pregnancy I was plagued with fatigue. And at this point, this pregnancy seems to be rocking my emotions. Case and point: last week.

---

Last week I was an emotional wreck. I literally cried all week. For one reason. I was released from my Primary calling. I never really expected to cry about being released. Without being too personal, I can say this, serving in that capacity was a difficult learning process for me, one where I felt very much like the Prophet Joseph Smith when he said:

I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else. . . knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 304).

But much to my surprise, a slew of complex emotions grew in my heart when I learned I wouldn't be serving in Primary anymore and it was really hard for me. I'm okay now, but I do have one favor of my friends here: please stop congratulating me because I do not feel that way about it at all. Thank you.

---

I have my appetite back and have been making dinner quite a bit more than I was a few months ago. On Monday, I caught a craving for clam chowder. I haven't successfully made clam chowder in years. I made it around Christmas time for a few years after Marc and I got married and it turned out fine, but in the last few years it's turned out too thick and rich and gross. But I was craving it, so I decided to give it another shot. Turns out I had been draining the boiled veggies and I wasn't supposed to so this batch turned out just great and my stomach is so thankful. Next up is Giada's chicken parmesan served over spaghetti squash and some semi-homemade breadsticks. Yum.

---

I cannot believe how utterly cold it's been the last 3 days. I haven't gone out at all and I've kept Carter home from school. I'm sorry, below zero when school starts is simply too cold for us to be out and about.

---

We got a bit behind in homework when I was lying in bed for three months. (Thank goodness, Carter doesn't have to turn it in!) But now we're on homework attack and I vow that we'll be caught up by the time Carter goes back after Christmas break. It's going to take some dedication on my part and patience on his. It's a good thing he enjoys doing it.

---

We bought a new ride almost two weeks ago. It looks like this:

With our soon to be expanded family, it was necessary. We are proud to be part of the mini van brigade. Merry Christmas to us.

---

This morning after I bathed the boys, Carter tried to explain to Anderson that we had church tomorrow. I told him we didn't. He asked why they got a bath then. Great. He must notice that all too often, a week goes by before they bathe again. In my defense, it is winter and we no longer go out and sweat and play at the park. Not to mention my children both have eczema and they really shouldn't bathe too often to avoid patchy, dry skin.

My Two Boys

2009-11-23T13:19:00.000-08:00

I know most of my friends and even many people I've just met are hoping that I have a girl this time around. And it's probably largely because up until I announced my pregnancy I wasn't exactly secretive about wanting a girl, desperately. I've spent a lot of time contemplating this the last few months and now I can honestly say, I really don't care if we have a boy or a girl. How could I possibly care when I could have one of these:

Carter 1 year

Carter 14 months

Or one of these:

Anderson 15 months

I couldn't possibly choose a girl over one of my boys so if Heavenly Father blesses us with another little guy, I'll be so grateful and smother him to pieces just like I have the other two He sent to us.

And if anyone doubts the power of pregnancy hormones, just looking at these pictures is getting me all teary eyed.

He's a Big Kid Now

2009-11-22T18:34:00.000-08:00

If you see this smiling face around,

go ahead and give him a hi five

or some knuckles

or a big hug

because he deserves it.

He's a big boy now.

He's potty trained, friends, he's potty trained!

(and it was pretty pain free, too!)

Oh man. . .That was totally wicked!

2009-11-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

About a year ago I decided I would probably never ever see Wicked. It was in LA only briefly before we moved here and then in an unfortunate twist, showed in Denver for only a few days during the exact weekend we moved. So, being a book lover, I settled for the book (which I really don't view as settling--I love the depth that books have and movies lack) and it didn't disappoint. A few months after I finished the book I caught news that Wicked was coming back to Denver for a whole month! I told Marc that if he ever wanted to do something super romantic that he could surprise me with tickets and then I promptly forgot I ever said that. But he didn't and that is the point of this story. My birthday rolled around in July and he almost surprised me with tickets and it's my fault it wasn't a complete surprise--you see I was trying to figure out what he was getting me and it was only then, at least 4 months after our original conversation, that I remembered that Wicked was coming. So back in July, I got two tickets to Wicked which by the way is the best birthday present ever because I got to celebrate on my birthday and then again 4 months later with dinner and a show. And Wicked really didn't disappoint! I want to go again! But since I can't go right away, I might just have to grab my copy of Wicked off of my bookshelf.

And for good measure here is a belly shot of me at just about 17 weeks.

**can you name the movie quoted in the title of my post?

Expecting. . .

2009-11-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

me at 12 weeks

October 11, 2009

If you're wondering where we've been and what we've been up to since September here's your answer: in bed nursing my tired and nauseous body while it grows Phillips Baby #3 and watching the larger part of NCIS' 140 episodes.

I refused to document my last two pregnancies with belly shots because I just get so big, but my shame has lessened and because when I'm old and gray I'll look back on this phase with fond memories I thought I'd stop fighting what most moms traditionally do and take weekly belly shots. Well, I took one and then have forgotten to do it since then. I'm now 15 weeks along and have finally crawled out of bed to get my house put back together after a few months of neglect. I am anxiously awaiting December 16th for our ultrasound and then the end of April or beginning of May when I can snuggle the little person I already love so deeply.

Quote of the Day

2009-11-04T09:43:00.000-08:00

Last year, when I was a diligent blogger, this silly boy's saying were never found in my Quote of the Day posts. That's because he couldn't talk, but after 9 months of speech therapy and a surgery to put tubes in his ears, he talks quite well. Today, I'm featuring my favorite thing he does right now: he emphasizes the past tense in his words. And because we're 5 days into potty training, here's the example I have on my mind:

I pee-ed in the potty.

Side note: I'm such a proud potty-training mom. He went poop last night for the first time on the toilet and I was literally glowing. I'm not going to jinx myself by announcing how things are going in this realm quite yet. Ask me in two weeks. I'll let you know then.

Dear Santa,

2009-09-11T06:37:00.001-07:00

Just so you know, I'd be completely thrilled to find any of these items under my Christmas tree this year. Love, Diana

Marianna Glass Chandelier from Ballard Designs to hang above our kitchen table.

Bailey Button Uggs in Chestnut

Java Mary Janes in Charcoal from LL Bean

I realize I'm a bit early this year.

Last year I wrote my note at the end of October.

And Santa pulled through and brought me this in black:

Isn't my Santa the best?

My Casanova and Other Things

2009-09-09T15:15:00.000-07:00

This morning when I dropped Carter off at kindergarten, his little friend's mom approached me and told me that Carter had kissed her daughter at school on Friday. On the knee, on the elbow and on the lips. In school but while Mrs. Molina wasn't looking. And her daughter was pretty tickled because she has a little crush on him. Then, when I picked Carter and this same little friend up from kindergarten later, Mrs. Molina pulled me aside and told me that another teacher in the school told her about the kissing that happened on Friday so she had a little chat about appropriate friend behavior at school during snack time, and that these two are sweet little friends that are attached at the hip. Mrs. Molina didn't seem the least bit unhappy about it. Neither did the mom. In fact, they both find quite a bit of humor in this. And really, I want to feel the same. But I don't. I can't help but feel slightly alarmed. (I really thought Carter was oblivious to liking girls.)

. . .

A few weeks ago, Carter came home having gotten a yellow light at school. You might be familiar with the green, yellow, red light discipline system a lot of elementary school systems use. You stay at green unless you misbehave and then you slip into yellow and red lights depending on the severity of the behavior. Anyway, back to my story--before he became attached at the hip with the little girl, he was playing at recess with the boys and they were play punching each other. Mrs. Molina said it was definitely boy pretend play, but that it was a little too aggressive for school so he and the other boys got yellow lights. When I asked Carter about it, he said they were pretending to make a video about punching. Apparently, I have a lover and a fighter on my hands.

. . .

I'm planning a little birthday celebration for Anderson. He turns 3 next Monday. But the last two days I have wondered if turning 3 is really worth celebrating. For example, over the weekend he learned some new and especially upsetting sass. If he's upset with Marc or me, he'll frown, emphatically cross his arms, and with a pout on his face and in his voice say, I don't like you anymore. I hate you! Ugg. Yesterday was especially fun when after he spouted those words, he told me, I not snuggle you anymore. But he forgot what he said by the end of the day because while trying to avoid going to sleep, he came out of his room after being tucked into bed and called down the stairs, I need someone snuggle me. *Sigh* Bring on the 3s.

. . .

You know those weeks when you put a few too many things on your plate? I'm having one of those weeks. Except that I only really put two of the things on my plate by choice. The others, well, they are responsibilities that I did say yes to about a year ago but they aren't exactly voluntary right now. So here's what I have going on right now:

We're celebrating Anderson's birthday on Saturday. I've been shopping for and gathering supplies the last two days. Because of Marc's football schedule, we couldn't do it next weekend but this weekend is a really bad weekend for it. Why? Read my next two bullets.
The Primary is having a pizza party and practicing for our Sacrament Meeting program on Friday night. I just happen to be the Primary President and I don't typically advertise that sort of thing here because I certainly don't aspire to that sort of thing but there you have it, the source of a little bit more of my stress this week.
The Primary Program is on Sunday.
I have Sharing Time responsibilities on Sunday.
I have to settle a situation regarding my Primary responsibilities.
I'm volunteering in Carter's class tomorrow and I'm kind of afraid that with everything else going on, I'll forget that by the time tomorrow morning rolls around.

I know, for those of you with larger families than I, this might not seem like that much, but I don't have much help right now either. This is Marc's schedule this week:

Tuesday: work 7-7. Give a Scout Master conference at night.
Wednesday: work 7-7. Go miniature golfing with the deacons.
Thursday: work 7-7. Attend an Eagle Court of Honor
Friday: work 7-7. Then stay at work and discharge all old patients until about midnight.
Saturday: try to help with Carter's soccer game, Anderson's party, and still attend the high school football game he's supposed to go to. (He works on the sidelines taping, stretching, etc.)

Yes, I'm whining. I'm sorry. I don't usually whine. I'm just a teeny bit overwhelmed right now. And instead of buckling down and getting things done like fold the rest of the laundry or vacuum the house which I've been meaning to do for 2 days now, I'm blogging. I get that way. So overwhelmed it's paralyzing. Anyway, all this to say that if you see me on Sunday and I'm a zombie, you'll know why.

What I Need To Know Is

2009-08-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

How my baby has gotten so big? He's turning 3 next month.

Just for the record, it's NOT OKAY WITH ME!

all new explorers must answer a science question. you live in what kind of home? an anemonemone. amnemonemomne. that's okay kid, dont hurt yourself.

2009-08-17T13:17:00.000-07:00

I was planning on being done with this blogging thing. I've lost interest in it. Can't you tell? But, today was a big day and I'm sure there are more big days to come and now I just can't decide. To blog or not to blog? IDK? But for today, I'm blogging.

Today was the first day of the rest of our lives.

Carter started Kindergarten.

I was a mess at orientation last week, but held it together nicely today. Whew!

(ready to walk to school--it takes us 20 minutes. He's such a cool kid!)

(waiting outside the classroom)

(waiting in line to go inside. I think he was a little nervous. Look how cute Anna Boone looks right behind him!)

I hope he has a good experience. I was geared up for this day all summer long--and then a week ago I started having some pretty strong anxiety about it which caused a major shift in my mentality: suddenly, I see value in home-schooling. *gasp!* And I'm a firm believer in the public school system. (After all, I have a degree in teaching!)

There are few minor issues that concern me, but I'm hoping they will blow over and we'll settle into a nice I like school routine. Not to say that he doesn't like it. I'm mostly hoping that I will like it!

(and for good measure, a *blurry* picture of the brothers in their new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle swim suits from Grandma & Grandpa Baer. They love them!)

Run. Drive. Sleep? Repeat.

2009-06-30T15:14:00.000-07:00

(me in the middle of my second leg)

A few weekends ago, I ran the Ragnar Wasatch Back Relay.

188 miles from Logan to Park City.

12 runners on a team.

3 legs for each runner.

This post title says it all:

We ran, drove, tried to catch some winks. Then pushed repeat.

I ran with my two sisters, some of my twin sister's family members and a few other people. Our team was appropriately named the Rag Tag Bunch and collectively, we spent just about 33 hours running in Utah's beautiful and grueling back country.

My parents surprised us and met our van right after we ran our first legs.

(they drove from Colorado to see us race)

My dad ran my third and most difficult leg with me.

When it was all over, I had run 18.4 miles in just under 3 hours.

Did I mention that

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!

I was on a running high for DAYS.

In fact, I had been planning on hanging up my running shoes for the summer to get some variety in my exercise, but after the race I realized, I can't give it up.

Tucson Round 2

2009-05-26T15:47:00.000-07:00

We spent the weekend away for Marc's company retreat. It was a no-kids-allowed trip to Tucson, AZ just like last year. Here's the run down:

3 1/2 days

3 nights

5 meals out

1 trip to In n Out

1 90 minute pedicure (ahhh)

8 miles of hiking/running (destination shown in the picture above)

1 ankle sprain

1 movie

4 hours of pool side sun

2 sunburns

0 pictures (oops)

Today is back to real life, but I slept in anyway!

Celebrate Life

2009-04-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

Four years ago today my sister passed away after battling with her body for 11 years.

She was 14.

So, today is a day for me to celebrate life

and to remember:

My life is a gift

my life has a plan.

My life has a purpose

in heav'n it began.

My choice was to come to this lovely home on earth

And seek for God's light to direct me from birth.

Odds and Ends

2009-04-28T14:14:00.000-07:00

My friend Robin uses odds and ends as the title for her blogs that are here and there. . . I like it. I'm adopting it. Thanks, Robin!

--

I haven't been interested in blogging lately. Have you noticed? The main reason is this: I've been living my life on hold since oh, um, February. I can't post why, but if you don't already know, just ask. (if you don't live here, shoot me an email or something!) I'd be happy to tell you. On the other hand, I've been extremely addicted to facebook. Extremely addicted. Don't worry, I've gotten my computer time in! Just not in blogging.

--

I need to become a person with lists again. Because I am no longer living my life on hold--I have THINGS TO DO!! Decorate. Spring cleaning. Painting. Yard work. I was going to start this week, but I'm feeling under the weather. I'll get my lists made tonight and start tomorrow.

--

The Lakers made the NBA playoffs. *surprise* They just won the first round against the Jazz. Sorry Jazz fans. *not really* But I am sorry that I'm not sorry. (Isn't there an exchange similar to that in the movie Dodgeball. Marc thinks that part is so funny. I don't.) The Nuggets need to win 5 more games and the Lakers need to win 4 more games and then the Lakers will play Denver for the Western Conference Finals. We're crossing our fingers so we can go to another game this year. If you're a Nuggets or Lakers fan and want to come with, let me know.

The Price of Children

2009-04-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

I listened to Anderson have at least six meltdowns today. He woke up in one and went to bed in one. What a day. And then, I read this email that my MIL sent me. I never once told myself today that I hated being a mom but this email reminded me that not all days are like today--I LOVE my job.

The Price of Children

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into: $8,896.66 a year
$741.38 a month
$171.08 a week
A mere $24.24 a day!
Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is: don't have children if you want to be 'rich' Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140.00?

Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
Glimpses of God every day.
Giggles under the covers every night.
More love than your heart can hold.
Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites.
Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up.You get to:
finger-paint,
carve pumpkins,
play hide-and-seek,
catch lightning bugs,
never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:
keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
watch Saturday morning cartoons,
go to Disney movies,
and wish on stars.
You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets
and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas,
hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day,
and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck.
You get to be a hero just for:
retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
taking the training wheels off a bike,
removing a splinter,
filling a wading pool,
coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs,
and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat in history to witness the:
First step,
First word,
First date,
First time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

You get an education in
psychology,
nursing,
criminal justice,
communications,
and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God.
You have all the power to heal a boo-boo,
scare away the monsters under the bed,
patch a broken heart,
police a slumber party,
ground them forever,
and love them without limits,
so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!

Quote of the Day

2009-04-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here's an Easter funny for you:

Before my parents left our house last night, they pulled out our new Gospel Art Book and began teaching Carter about the reason we celebrate Easter. When my mom flipped to the picture of Jesus washing the disciples' feet, she explained that the people back then wore sandals and walked on very dusty roads. She asked Carter if his feet got dirty and needed washing after wearing his sandals to play at the park. I think it was at this point that Carter actually noticed what Jesus was doing in the picture because he said, Hey, Mom and Dad do that. They use wipes.

Yes. Yes I do.

Good Eats

2009-04-09T15:03:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm still in a food rut, but in the other direction this time. I discovered (and in a few cases, rediscovered) some real gems to make this month and now that's all I want to eat!

Here's a list of our GOOD EATS!

Cafe Rio's Pork Salad

After the first time I made it, I decided to do omit the black bean recipe and make a black bean and corn relish instead. I just tossed together one can each (drained and rinsed) of black beans and corn, some finely chopped red onion and jalapeno, cilantro, salt and the fresh lime juice. All to taste. Yum. Don't skip the rice though, it's the first cilantro lime rice/spanish recipe I like. And I've tried to make quite a few.

Grilled Chicken Pesto Panini

Don't change a thing on this baby! Especially the roasted red pepper. Making your own roasted red pepper is not an exact science. I wash a red pepper, put it in the oven at 450 and turn every few minutes when I see that the skin has blackened on one side. When the whole pepper is decently black or blistered, I take it out, put it in a plastic bag for 10 minutes. After that the skin comes right off and I slice it open, seed it and slice into strips.

Tomato Soup

I double or triple the batch so I make sure I have plenty because once you try it, you'll want it for lunch all week. I promise. I've used fat free half and half (thanks for the tip, Paula!) or evaporated milk instead of cream keeping it as healthy as possible. Serve with either of the panini's listed here and you'll never go back to Panera again!

Cream of Wild Rice and Chicken Soup

I've been in a soup mood lately!

Beautiful Kelly's Veggie Pita Pockets

To give credit where credit is due, I kept the title of this recipe the same for the post, but since I'm pretty finicky with pita (it just has to be fresh and I rarely have fresh pita!) I just throw the veggies together for a salad. Thus, I call it. . .well, uh, I don't actually call it anything. It's salad.

The Ultimate Grilled Cheese Sandwich

In finding some of these recipes, I found two new websites that will give added menu inspiration in the coming weeks!

2009-03-10T12:44:00.000-07:00

Marc's taken some flack for the Valentine's Day mishap, but that certainly was not my intent when I wrote about it. Our anniversary is only 2 weeks after Valentine's Day and he had our anniversary plans up his sleeve way before Valentines. Here's what we did:

FRIDAY NIGHT WITH FRIENDS:

The Cheesecake Factory was a real treat. We haven't been in years. We made it to the game at half time, which I thought would disappoint Marc, but since they played one of the worst games they've EVER played *literally, Marc looked it up, they've only played one other game as badly since they moved from Minneapolis to LA in 1960, YIKES!* he wasn't too disappointed.

ON SATURDAY BY OURSELVES:

We caught a matinee of He's Just Not That Into You. Cute. We ate dinner at The Blue Star--a trendy fine dining place downtown. We stayed at The Cliffhouse Inn overnight. I think the most romantic thing Marc did was make sure that since he was surprising me and we'd miss our church meetings on Sunday, he made sure that the sharing time I was supposed to give was covered. He thought of everything!

In the recent months I have become more grateful for the life Marc has built for us. He's incredible--I could never have imagined the blessings I would have because I chose to marry him seven years ago.

25 Things

2009-03-09T11:52:00.000-07:00

I posted this note on my facebook account in response to one of those fun tags that have been making it's way around.

1. It took me about a month to find 25 *interesting enough* things to write here.
2. I am a food snob.
3. I am a people- pleaser. Right now I'm totally stressed out because I've offended the same person at least twice in the last six weeks or so.
4. I love running. . .on a treadmill. I have a favorite treadmill at the gym. I lip sync to my music while I run. My favorite running song of all time is Lose Yourself by Eminem. Running to this song makes me feel strong and emotional about running.
5. I love oatmeal raisin cookies and will never pass up Subway's oatmeal raisin cookies. Yum.
6. I like to gauge my health by comparing what I have in my grocery cart with the person checking out in front of me at the grocery store. I'm always shocked to see what people buy. The other day all I had was veggies *I was planning to make stir fry* and the lady in front of me had at least 6 candy bars, 2 bags of donettes, frozen dinners etc. I won that day! *that's not always the case*
7. I am compulsively organized.
8. I really disliked every formal dance I've ever attended.
9. I am THE QUEEN of returns and buyers remorse. Right now I'm in the process of cancelling a food storage order we made on Saturday.
10. I'm a Dooney and Bourke gal--I have two of their purses and already have my eye on another--though I know for sure I'll never get that one.
11. Last weekend Marc took me to see He's Just Not That Into You. I liked it. I realized that the only boy that has ever been into me was and still is Marc. I guess that's probably what happens--you find your one and stick with him the rest of your life.
12. Taylor Swift songs make me really happy.
13. I've only left the country one time *besides to Canada, which I don't really count since I grew up minutes away from the border* to go half way around the world to China.
14. In 2000, I went on two dates with a boy who just a few years later was accused and tried for rape. Scary.
15. I find chopping vegetables very theraputic.
16. I usually fold our clean laundry *or what's left of it in the baskets* the night before laundry day.
17. I haven't and won't read the Twilight series. *gasp*
18. I have a dirt phobia.
19. I've run two marathons.
20. I cannot live without the denim jacket I bought a year and a half ago.
21. I don't really like fluffy books. I get much more satisfaction from reading books that are deep and real and long--so that I can get attached the the characters. Jane Eyre and My Antonia are my absolute favorites.
22. I'd really love to run the Great Wall of China marathon.
23. My favorite color is green--the shade that is slightly lighter than shamrock green.
24. I'm hoping to learn how to garden this year.
25. I've become slightly high maintenance and I'm okay with it.

inspire me please. . .

2009-03-06T13:12:00.000-08:00

I need to go grocery shopping--today. Though it probably won't happen until tomorrow. I've been uninspired as of late and my poor family is suffering. My dear friends, inspire me. Give me some grand ideas of what to make for dinners for my family in the coming weeks. Please.

on the flip side. . .

2009-02-26T14:59:00.000-08:00

this picture of Anderson just makes me laugh.

taken right after he bit me while nursing,

he got a flick and a stern no that simply broke his heart.

Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine

2009-02-26T13:47:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken nearly five years ago.

It's one of my favorites from Carter's babyhood.

I can't believe this baby of mine will be five in a few short months!

With this ring, I thee wed

2009-02-23T14:50:00.001-08:00

Marc has had two wedding rings. The first one lasted four years. When I was eight months pregnant with Anderson we went to the beach one day and it got lost in the sand. He'd tell you that it slipped through my fingers as I was handing it to him when we were packing up to leave so it was my fault. I'm telling you that as a person who grew up around the beach, he knew better than to even wear it out on to the sand so it was his fault. Needless to say, having the emotions of an 8 month pregnant lady, it was not a good day. The second ring lasted two years. Anderson got a hold of this one, and it's somewhere in our house. Marc would tell you it's my fault because I saw him with it and I should have taken it away. I'm telling you that since just days previous he'd told me I needed to be more careful with my ring, I thought when I saw Anderson with his that he should follow his own advice and then forgot all about it until we couldn't find it a few days later. I was peeved, but not nearly as upset as the first time.

I'm not the gal who feels insecure because her man doesn't have a ring. Marc takes it off at work so often anyway, that really, it doesn't matter. But, this morning, when I saw that Marc had been browsing Overstock to find a ring, I remembered, Marc has nice hands. And his left one looks even nicer with a ring on the third finger.

ring #1

ring #2

The Last Lecture: A Book Review

2009-02-18T12:48:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day 2009: (Sorry babe, this will be slightly incriminating.) I operated under my friend Robin's Theory this year for Valentine's and I told Marc exactly what I wanted: to go to a movie in the theater. That's it. As he thought things through, he thought that might be hard to pull off this last weekend but promised me he would acknowledge the holiday. On Valentine's Eve, I told him that if we weren't going to a movie, I'd really like a second pair of mary jane sweater slippers, or a cute pair of pj pants, something small. On Saturday, after he'd worked a while at a hockey tournament, after we'd taken the kids to see Madagascar 2, and after I'd gotten impatient that Marc had jumped on the computer the second we walked in the door, he pulled out my Valentine's surprise: a very fun card and a package of Spring Oreos. Thoughtful yes, but if you read Robin's post about her Valentine's Theory, you will forgive me for being a bit disappointed. I had been VERY CLEAR about what I wanted and none of my ideas were honored. While my husband is "practically perfect" , it's possible he's a little slow to pick up on completely obvious hints. So he went to Target and picked up a pair of slippers, some pj pants, a book (The Last Lecture, which is where we're going with this) AND a gallon of milk because we were low and Oreos without milk is unthinkable. When I asked him about the number of purchases he made, he told me I should know by now that when he screws up, he usually goes overboard. On Monday I read The Last Lecture in it's entirety, and I didn't start until 1:45 pm.

The Last Lecture (by Randy Pausch, the 47 year old husband, father and computer scientist who died after a 2 year battle with pancreatic cancer) is a must read. It is fun and humorous yet incredibly deep and inspirational. I had an overwhelming urge to sit and cry for an hour or so after finishing.

Here are some gems I thought might be important enough to write on post-its to place all over the house.

When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you.

There's really only one way to teach kids how to develop [self-esteem]: You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.

Tenacity is a virtue, but it's not always crucial for everyone to observe how hard you work at something.

Power is in humility.

Be a better time manager: time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think.

The only way any of us can improve is if we develop a real ability to asses ourselves. If we can't accurately do that how can we tell if we're getting better or worse.

Luck is indeed where preparation meets opportunity.

Earnestness is highly underestimated. It comes from the core, while [being] hip is trying to impress you with the surface.

Complaining does not work as a strategy.

When you're frustrated with people, when they've made you angry, it just may be because you haven't given them enough time.

It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit. . .and keep moving forward.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

These are words that might keep me moving forward when things don't seem to be going right. I suggest you pick up the book and see how it speaks to you.